Blog Category: Contentment

Do you ever struggle to make the decision to let go of the past? If it wasn’t such a great thing ~ why continue to visit or, worse, camp out there? If something triggers a past hurt and it feels "bad" recognize that there are wounds that may cause you to walk with an emotional limp for a season, but the effect of the experience can change if you choose to allow it.  Truly when we can look back and laugh at our experiences, they have become our education.

The only way we can overcome our fear of being hurt again, is to recognize these fears are attached to us only as much as we are anchored to our past. We can face tomorrow because the ONE who led through the darkness is still here holding our hand every time the memory arises.  So, just like someone learning to walk again after a terrible accident, choose to simply get up, show up and do the best you can with what lies before you.

Once you allow the shackles that have anchored you to the past to fall off, they will no longer define you. We can grow stronger and better because of the things we’ve experienced and the lessons we’ve taken away.  At the end of the day, we may have a few scars, but all the wounds will heal.  Refuse to allow challenges to become excuses. Cease trying to control what you are unable to change and eliminate the excuses that prevent you from changing the things you can!

Embrace the Past, Then Release. The decision to cut anchors continually gives strength, confidence and drive to live life free and to the fullest.   This will probably be the best thing you ever do for yourself. It won’t bring national acclaim.  Someone looking may not be able to see it. But in the area of weight loss, internally, you’ll drop about a million pounds.

Being bound to the past with anchors from old hurts causes us to feel like we live in a minefield.   If a certain incident happens, it can trigger pain as real and as overwhelming as when the wound was brand new.  We feel powerless to be free.  It can result in our feeling controlled by others who have hurt us.  It weakens the resolve to live life above average.

To fully live out the peace and joy of life, we need to discover the ability to wake up and live and love like the experiences never happened. Yes! It is possible. We need the season of wandering in the desert in life to truly find the direction we needed to be headed in. The decision is simple. The difficulty is in waiting with little or no understanding for life experiences to bring us to a place where we “want to be free.”  We have to learn to let others ‘off the hook’ for hurting us.  We have to confront our own hearts and realize that we have hurt and wounded others, often unintentionally.  I have come to believe that most people have a good reason for doing what they do – even if I don’t understand their reasoning.

Refusing to let go or confront issues may result in bitterness and resentment. Bitterness is the awful bite of resentment that causes the soul of the person in which it resides to swell up in pain. Not properly dealt with, it can spread throughout the emotional system of the person and begin to harden their heart.  Bitterness is transmitted from person to person in the recounting -- retelling or rehearsing -- of an unpleasant experience, whether real or imagined.

In allowing this bitterness, we can push away the ones we want and need in our lives. We need people who are safe and responsible in our lives. They help us to grow and to gain value from things we need to face and deal with. Our life choices are the best gauge for whether or not we live joyful, enthusiastic and confident versus sad, depressed and anxious. We can be empowered to do life by design, as opposed to 'by default' and truly have a life of significance and purpose.

This happens best in a climate of being thankful to God even in circumstances we don’t understand, for teaching us that He always cares for us and we can depend on Him. Once we master these things, we will never again be shaken beyond what we recognize as something that He is working for good in our lives.

To gain this incredible breakthrough in life, make it a habit to spend quiet time daily in His presence through reading the Bible, an encouraging book or devotional, prayer, journaling or simply relaxing in a comfy place with a cup of coffee or tea.  It is the familiarity in life that brings comfort. Regular routine, special memories, good friends, favorite songs etc.  become our daily therapy to get re-focused during times we are tempted to cave in under stress.

In this time, I have found God to be the greatest counselor, coach, and therapist available at no charge to me.  The cost has been full surrender of my agenda.  The benefits have been a sense of purpose, fulfillment and confidence that each day, each decision, each encounter can bring meaning, vision and sustained change and healing to my life.

~ Sheri xo

 

If you are anything like I was, you are busy because you want to be or because you don’t know how to be un-busy. You are busy out of misdirected guilt because you think if you do enough, you will be enough. When you decide that it is acceptable to create a life-by-design, you can eliminate the thief that busyness can become, and start doing things that matter. You can talk about your meaningful day instead of ranting about your busy schedule. Decide today that you are enough, even if you never accomplish another thing that causes heads to turn. You are still enough!

I’ve been writing about the value of simplicity for nearly 20 years.... and if you asked, I'd have to say that Minimalism is best described as pursuing the Right Things so that we are able to Focus More on the things we Enjoy Most!

Simply put, it is the identification, and then the continual choice, of living (doing, buying, seeking) ONLY what is essential. Quite similar to a life of simplicity, Minimalism elaborates on the saying, “less is more” to make it a declaration that “less is better.”

After a major life change in 2002, and armed with a belief that God has and always will have a plan for me that is better than I could ever design for myself, I set out to learn what was most important, most enjoyable, and most aligned with His best for me. My goal was to best utilize what He had taught me in my life up to that point.

I have been given the privilege and responsibility to prioritize my life! If I avoid doing it, someone else may step in and take on that role in a way that serves their needs best.  Taking the time to prioritize our life and choices eliminates our being tied and / or obligated to others expectations.

I often ask myself, when I am at work or play, “Is this the most important thing I should be doing with my time and resources right now?” It helps me to zero in on what is most important in the moment. If it isn’t important to me at the present time, I simply choose to redirect my focus to what matters and what will have the most impact on the purpose I am seeking to achieve.

I want to live a life by design, not default. I will do this effectively by learning to master my response to situations and be able to turn things around, as opposed to living like the bow tied on a kite string based on what is happening to me at any given moment.

I don't need to have it all and I don't want to do it all. It is imperative for me to first clarify and then be willing to make the necessary trade-offs in order to pursue what is most important to me. One of the things I remind myself when I am struggling to stick with my plan is this: "I choose to NOT trade off what I want MOST for what I want right NOW!"

I have learned that I do not need to be 'plugged into' all that is happening either virtually or globally all of the time. Rather, I have discovered that the most important thing for me to focus on is what’s front and center of my actual world at the present time. I continually find that focusing on the few essential ideas right in front of me is typically more rewarding, and offers greater potential, than the many that may be trying to distract me.

The best thing I've learned is when to say no to the nonessentials so I can say yes to the things that really matter. I find it easier not to commit if I'm not certain that I can give 100%. This requires me to have the courage to say no firmly, resolutely and gracefully so that I can say “yes” to those things that I truly value and where I know I can purposefully make a difference.

At some point, you may have discovered that one-size-fits-all life is not really the fit you were looking for.

What would it take for you to lay out a life plan, perhaps create a budget, or a goal to get healthier and eliminate stress? Or do you shy away from any thought of doing life-by-design, as opposed to ‘by default' because it seems you would be surrendering your rights to a real life. 

Interesting Note: Consider the Tortoise and the Hare. The tortoise won the race because he stayed the course, remained focused, and he never, never, never gave up. He mapped a plan, put one foot in front of the other, and continued to do the same thing until he got where he wanted, and not only that ~ he was the first one there.

The race is not always to the swift, but to the diligent. The one who works and plays smart. You may not have all of the options that someone else may have, but by taking what you have and gaining the necessary skills you need to develop the areas that can serve you well, it is only a matter of time until you win. 

Money, education, affiliation or any other privilege can never beat out what pure tenacity and endurance will provide to succeed in the game of life. The only way you win is to find every creative way possible to eliminate your temptation to quit. It worked for the tortoise!

What ideas are swimming around in your mind that by putting to paper you could craft something opens you up to greater possibilities toward creating the life you want?

I'm not specifically talking about money here. Having more money doesn't mean less problems. In fact to the one whom much is given, much will be required. If money was the be all, end all, explain Hollywood to me.  

No, it's much more. It's not about having what you want. It's about learning to want what you have. It's maximizing your potential by embracing the design God has for your life and, in turn, discovering that your life is as You-Nique as You are!

You are able to do life-by-design by developing intentionality around what is of the most value to you. It requires a plan - so you know where you are headed and have more than a rear view mirror to look at where you've been.

Realizing where you've been is a great guide in aligning you for where you are going and how you will get there. It is a major step in eliminating things in your life that no longer fit you and where you are headed. 

You create your tomorrows by what you dream ~ today!  You have unbelievable potential within. It's in your thoughts. Your positive thoughts based on an understanding of God’s design for your life are beneficial for all you ever hope to achieve and accomplish.

How are you managing these thoughts? Are you content to simply think about what tomorrow can look like? What would it look like to spend some quiet, focused time to consider what your future could be and the One who holds it?

To tap into your internal hopes and desires, consider journaling. It is a very valuable tool that provides inspiring insights about how to plant good seeds and prune unnecessary areas in your life to so you can create a life you won’t need to escape from. 

If you took a road trip from Atlanta to Seattle, you wouldn't consider not having a map or gps to chart your route, as well as a plan for the things you would like to see.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Pack your tortoise shell well; you'll need it to stay the course. Forget about how the hare is doing life. 

You need to concentrate on one thought ~ “I think I can, I think I can!”