Recently, I woke up with the thought that God tells us not to be anxious (Philippians 4:6). Our willingness to live out this guidance principle from His Word allows us to meet the challenges of life in a more purposeful, less-stressed frame of mind.
Patience is a huge piece of emotional wholeness and comes from our living intentionally, or as I like to coin the phrase, “Life by Design, not Default”.
Later this same day, I decided it was time to untwist the cords on my plantation blinds on two windows upstairs. They had been left in a tied-up, tangled-up state due to the fact that they are not in my typical line of vision as I am mostly downstairs. Also, the fact is, they are in the middle of my husband, Jeff's office, and it's not a task I would want to have him watching over my shoulder... LOL!
At first, I was letting thoughts of irritation invade my peaceful mindset and not utilizing patience. I was focusing on not wanting to do this right now because it was too warm in the room and the fact that there were many other things I could be doing that would be of more value than standing there untwisting the blinds.
As soon as I recognized that these negative thoughts were actually making the project more distasteful, I challenged my thoughts to reflect back on my early morning musings about patience and anxiety. I began to focus on how thankful I am to have a nice home and to have the opportunity to delight in making it a cozy and peaceful home.
I often get a front-row seat to moderate anxiety, with my beloved fur-baby, Max. He is a 5 year old golden retriever who really has a challenging time accepting change. He wants to be fed and walked at the scheduled time his internal clock dictates to him. If I move a chair or a lamp, he has to review what has happened and be given time to adjust.
If my hubby, Jeff, who is Max’s best bud, is away, Max may pace a while, whine at the door or lounge with his big head and beautiful puppy eyes, resting on my lap. He likes sameness. He is incredibly anxious and pants fairly loudly when he isn’t having his routine to go down the way he expects.
I’m a lot like Max. I like to sit in my favorite place, which is near a window. wherever I am. I like to drink my coffee or tea from one particular mug. I like the bed made as soon as I get out of it. When I return home, I beat a path to place my purse in the same spot on the same shelf, time after time. I actually do not like to travel (yep, now you know my biggest quirk), because I like to sleep in my own bed!
My reasoning for this behavior is that, more than anything, I absolutely detest having to search for anything or readjust to new surroundings.
I began to think of how God is teaching me to choose to be patient and work in a calm manner, rather than murmuring, and allowing my feelings of discontent to make me feel like I have a right to grumble. I thought how I have often been given a gentle nudge by Jesus, who loves me and wants the best for me.
Left to my own devices, I would likely be the same person in 20 years that I am today.... never growing, never exiting my comfort zone. What a waste that would be, of a beautiful gift of life that I have been given!
In this and numerous other incidences, when I stop and listen to myself and overwrite my dislike for doing certain things or being in certain places, I can happily agree that the anxiety I feel around being dissatisfied can quickly turn to peace and a serene state of mind, when I choose to accept my situation and simply be patient.
My Grandmother would typically say about uncomfortable circumstances, “It came to pass, not to stay!” Yet my murmuring, complaining and finding fault certainly can make the staying part seem way too long!
Another thing Grandma often said was, "You will find whatever it is you are looking for in a given situation. If you look for the good, that's what you will find; if you look for the bad, that is all you will see!" This is certainly true in my life.
Anxiety is like being held at gunpoint while being robbed. It snarls around our present moments and blurs our focus. If that isn't enough, it robs our energy, our health and our hope for a brighter day. There is absolutely nothing good in being anxious.
And the irony of the whole situation is that anxiety does not help anything. Worry, fear and doubt separate us from the peace God paid such a high price to provide for us. Nothing changes, improves or morphs into our ideal dream. We are left tired, angry, disillusioned and wrung out.
It's like being in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist. (This is someone who needs and seeks too much attention, wants to be admired, and does not have the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others). A totally toxic situation for those in relationship with them. But that's a story for another day and I digress.
How do we take steps to overcome anxiety?
As I see it, patience can help us to calmly assess situations in ways that can help us manage expectations in how we envision an outcome. Often, it's our expectations that things 'ought' to turn out in a certain way, that creates anxiety in the first place. We don't like the steps needed to get to a desired outcome, although, we have the ideal belief that the outcome will be like the grand finale at a Fourth of July fireworks celebration.
But it takes a whole lotta whole lotta to get there! We love to plan the party, yet the shopping, chopping, cooking, making lists, recruiting volunteers, answering RSVPs about directions, what to wear, what gift to bring yada yada yada, can be overwhelming at times.
Reflecting back on the beginning of my post, it was my underlying thoughts that spending the time in an uncomfortable, overly warm office to stand for half an hour untangling cords on plantation shutters would be a boring, waste of time and who would notice anyway. This was the actual culprit behind my anxiety and dissatisfaction. It wasn't the actual task itself. It was my underlying thought process.
There is a reason that Scripture teaches us in Philippians 2:14 to do all that we have to do without murmuring (grumbling) and complaining. It makes the job so much worse. And who wants to be an audience when someone whines about their tasks? Yep, go ahead and sign me up, right? NO! Thank you!
The opposite of grumbling would be gratitude. I have a lot to be thankful for in my home and the opportunity and good health to care for it well. It is a privilege that many do not have.
I honestly believe there are three things that we can cultivate that will help us to reduce anxiety. They are to forgive when we've been wronged, be thankful for what we are given, and be content with the tasks that are ours to complete. After all, isn't this exactly how we would teach children to be?
If you haven't observed young children for a while, make a point to do so. They laugh a lot, throw a lot of energy (while smiling) into their tasks, and quickly forgive and move right on with their play time with other children.
What a beautiful example of what Jesus meant when He told us in Matthew 8:13 that, 'unless we become as little children we will not enter into heaven'.
And they delight themselves in their creative abilities and the tasks they have to do. They are often tireless in their efforts to build forts, create lego cities, cook in their play kitchens, and serve guests at their tea parties.
Yet, all of these 'play events' require work and focus to complete. But they enjoy it and I believe one thing makes the big difference. It is found in their attitudes. They have 'chosen' to do their task and do it with a great attitude. Most.Of.The.Time. Like us, they do have their off days. And we love them for being so real and authentic.
So, where can we point our focus today to help reduce our anxiety and experience more lasting joy? It’s actually closer than you may think!
When we are intentional with our attitudes, our patience, managing our expectations and being quick to forgive wrongs done to us, we catch many more moments that take our breath away!
I pray today will be a day just like that for you!
Until next time.....
Sheri xo
Btw....If you would like to learn more about my online coaching program kicking off on this Fall, my website is fully operational now.... JoyFilledRelationships.com
To see how this program may benefit you, feel free to schedule a free consult with me at: https://calendly.com/sheri-geyer/consult
And please share this info with other women that you believe would like more Joy in their life and relationships! xo
Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*
*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ!
Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!
I'd love for you to join my online community for Christian Women on Mighty Networks! It's free, it's a safe place where you can connect, share, be encouraged and learn to grow a deeper faith walk with the Lord! Here's the link; I hope to see you on the inside: https://joy-filled-relationships.mn.co/share/S_dOjQT7-iqLg9B1?utm_source=manual
I'd like to invite you to Join me on a 5-day Journey to do a deeper dive into discovering how you can find and maintain more joy-filled relationships... Sign up for Free here: https://joyfilledrelationships.com/landing/five-days
My Online Group Coaching Program has begun -- https://joyfilledrelationships.com/application. Consider signing up now (during the developmental stage) to receive huge discounts and Lifetime Access for as long as the program is offered! You'll never get a better opportunity or price!
When we were in school, we got the lesson and then the test. It is not always the same out here in real life. It's more like, we get the test and then the lesson.
Read more...By virtue of not knowing, I am actually happier, period. When I meet with family, friends or clients, they can feel my happiness. I am cool with how things are going and since this is a positive attribute it is actually one that is very attractive to others. We love rubbing elbows with people who are calm and settled about life in general. I am able to show up and being fully present.
Read more...If you have ever felt like a charter member of the Start Big - Finish Small, if at All Club, you may feel overwhelmed when you set targets that seem difficult to reach. Regardless of the level of effort - you have options. The breakthrough you need could be to consider thinking small to help you transform your life.
Taking On More Than You Can Manage
“Think big!” may be the war cry of pioneer business visionaries but, it could be the thing that rocks the boat over in the case of the average Joe. On countless occasions, I’ve been full of ideas that I’d finally be able to establish a brand new plan or goal and I'd jump out of bed with gusto. But like starting a race without breakfast, I would soon realize the problem was that I would typically bite off more than I could chew and expect quick success and no hitches. Often, the pain of disappointment left me feeling too burned out to follow through.
Break It Down to Bite-Sized Pieces
My stumbling blocks from where I am to were I want to be seem daunting when I look at the size of the task and how long it may take to get there. I make every effort to choose my "best" options instead of doing more thinking that equates to doing better. By focusing more on the here and now, and not so much or so far in the future, I am able to find a steady pace that works. My take on the tortoise, who may be slower, but wins every time!
Whatever we hope to gain in our endeavors, before we can achieve something in life, we need to decide precisely what it is we want. Be specific in defining what it is you want to achieve. Knowing what you are looking for makes it easier to find. Work to understand the ‘why’ for whatever you desire to achieve. Goals are often more "real" if they are written. Decide what is a reasonable length of time, and be realistic and measurable so you will have a target at which to aim. I’ve heard it stated, “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time!”
Here are a few tips to help you do this:
- Determine the steps involved. Brainstorm your options. These are the stepping stones towards achieving your end result.
- Simplify the action plan. Think of the steps as actions. When you understand what actions are needed to achieve your desired result, you can pull these together into a plan.
- Establish daily and weekly tasks. When you create your action plan, work out a series of targets that you believe are possible to reach on the way to your goal. Keep it simple with many small victories to keep the momentum.
- Keep on track. The small-scale approach is flexible and allows for instant changes. On a weekly basis, ask yourself what happened and whether you could do anything differently. Keep on tweaking and completing the simple tasks to have the end result well within your grasp.
- Don't focus on long-term. Focus on your daily actions plans and not so much on the end date. Don't dwell on what’s to come in the future. Like the tortoise, concentrate on one small step and repeat consistently.
- Resist the desire to biggie-size. We often want results fast and are impatient when it comes to delaying gratification. Though you may be tempted, avoid trying to rush things and biting off more than you can chew. Refer to the reasons why you want the desired goal. Concentrate on where you are in the journey, and not on what’s next. Reflect on how far you’ve come and what a waste it would be to throw in the towel now.
In order for us to grow, we need to allow ourselves to be stretched at times. In most endeavors, if we don't grow, our plans and goals won't either. Long-lasting lifestyle change requires an investment of our time and effort, as well as some patience.
The road to achieving great things is much less intimidating when you break down the end result into smaller steps. And absolutely nothing can compare to how you will feel when you finally make it to the place you wanted to be.
~ Sheri xo
If you have enjoyed this post, please share with other fabulous women who are ready to create a Life-by-Design!
Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*
*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ!
Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!
I'd love for you to join my online community for Christian Women on Mighty Networks! It's free, it's a safe place where you can connect, share, be encouraged and learn to grow a deeper faith walk with the Lord! Here's the link; I hope to see you on the inside: https://joy-filled-relationships.mn.co/share/S_dOjQT7-iqLg9B1?utm_source=manual
I'd like to invite you to Join me on a 5-day Journey to do a deeper dive into discovering how you can find and maintain more joy-filled relationships... Sign up for Free here: https://joyfilledrelationships.com/landing/five-days
My Online Group Coaching Program has begun -- https://joyfilledrelationships.com/application. Consider signing up now (during the developmental stage) to receive huge discounts and Lifetime Access for as long as the program is offered! You'll never get a better opportunity or price!
I’ve been writing about the value of simplicity for nearly 20 years.... and if you asked, I'd have to say that Minimalism is best described as pursuing the Right Things so that we are able to Focus More on the things we Enjoy Most!
Simply put, it is the identification, and then the continual choice, of living (doing, buying, seeking) ONLY what is essential. Quite similar to a life of simplicity, Minimalism elaborates on the saying, “less is more” to make it a declaration that “less is better.”
After a major life change in 2002, and armed with a belief that God has and always will have a plan for me that is better than I could ever design for myself, I set out to learn what was most important, most enjoyable, and most aligned with His best for me. My goal was to best utilize what He had taught me in my life up to that point.
Here is what I found:
I have been given the privilege and responsibility to prioritize my life! If I avoid doing it, someone else may step in and take on that role in a way that serves their needs best. Taking the time to prioritize our life and choices eliminates our being tied and / or obligated to others expectations.
I often ask myself, when I am at work or play, “Is this the most important thing I should be doing with my time and resources right now?” It helps me to zero in on what is most important in the moment. If it isn’t important to me at the present time, I simply choose to redirect my focus to what matters and what will have the most impact on the purpose I am seeking to achieve.
I want to live a life by design, not default. I will do this effectively by learning to master my response to situations and be able to turn things around, as opposed to living like the bow tied on a kite string based on what is happening to me at any given moment.
I don't need to have it all and I don't want to do it all. It is imperative for me to first clarify and then be willing to make the necessary trade-offs in order to pursue what is most important to me. One of the things I remind myself when I am struggling to stick with my plan is this: "I choose to NOT trade off what I want MOST for what I want right NOW!"
I have learned that I do not need to be 'plugged into' all that is happening either virtually or globally all of the time. Rather, I have discovered that the most important thing for me to focus on is what’s front and center of my actual world at the present time. I continually find that focusing on the few essential ideas right in front of me is typically more rewarding, and offers greater potential, than the many that may be trying to distract me.
The best thing I've learned is when to say no to the nonessentials so I can say yes to the things that really matter. I find it easier not to commit if I'm not certain that I can give 100%. This requires me to have the courage to say no firmly, resolutely and gracefully so that I can say “yes” to those things that I truly value and where I know I can purposefully make a difference.
The effectual pursuit of simplicity (minimalism) is about arriving at a deep understanding of what leads to a happy and meaningful life for each of us personally. It has never just been about sacrificing or getting rid of stuff.
Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*
*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ!
Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!
I'd love for you to join my online community for Christian Women on Mighty Networks! It's free, it's a safe place where you can connect, share, be encouraged and learn to grow a deeper faith walk with the Lord! Here's the link; I hope to see you on the inside: https://joy-filled-relationships.mn.co/share/S_dOjQT7-iqLg9B1?utm_source=manual
I'd like to invite you to Join me on a 5-day Journey to do a deeper dive into discovering how you can find and maintain more joy-filled relationships... Sign up for Free here: https://joyfilledrelationships.com/landing/five-days
My Online Group Coaching Program has begun -- https://joyfilledrelationships.com/application. Consider signing up now (during the developmental stage) to receive huge discounts and Lifetime Access for as long as the program is offered! You'll never get a better opportunity or price!
