Sheri Writes....

It would be a nice reminder to respond to the “facts” about our life situations if people asked us, “What is true about your life today?”, or “What is going on that you can impact to make a difference?” This, possibly, could become a trigger to think on what is true about our lives as opposed to what we “feel” is true about our lives.

We can easily become overly concerned about what we ‘think” someone else is ‘thinking’ regarding us. When, in actuality, we or our situation may be the furthest thing from their minds.  When I begin thinking along these lines, I often chuckle to remind myself that I am only ‘kind of a big deal’ in my own mind.

Picture a train, the engine is the power that drives it and the caboose (when used) served to house the crew responsible for track switching and acting as lookouts for load shifting or other concerns.  If we regard the TRUTH about our lives as the engine of the train that drives us, we can move along empowered by making decisions based on what we know to be right. 

If, on the other hand, we are led by our FEELINGS, it is as if we are letting the caboose engineer, (with a limited view), drive our life train and we become disempowered because we can be on a roller coaster driven by emotions and not truth. It is stressful and chaotic at best and ultimately results in, you guessed it, a train wreck!

Have you ever found yourself caught in the battle between facts and feelings? It's a tug-of-war that often leaves us wondering which should dictate our decisions and actions. 

Facts are like sturdy pillars that form the very foundation of truth. They are objective and universally accepted. Facts are based on evidence, research, and practical observations.

When we rely on facts, we make informed decisions grounded in logic and reason. They serve as our compass, assisting us in navigating challenging situations, problem-solving, and discovering new perspectives. 

On the other hand, feelings are subjective, personal, and intimately connected to our experiences. Our feelings are influenced by our values, beliefs, and unique life journeys, making them deeply personal and powerful. They bring color and light to our lives. 

Feelings provide us with clues about our emotional well-being, and help us understand and empathize with others' experiences. Feelings fuel our creativity, compassion, and the pursuit of happiness, creating beautiful connections in our relationships.

Neither facts nor feelings exist in isolation. In fact, they each bring unique wisdom and insights to the table. Recognizing the importance of both is the key to achieving harmony in our lives.

We can use facts to assess situations objectively, gather information, and make informed decisions. But we must also acknowledge our feelings, honoring our emotions and considering the impact they can have on our choices. By carefully integrating logic and empathy, we can make decisions that are both rational and compassionate.

Remember, embracing facts does not mean dismissing feelings, nor does honoring feelings entail disregarding facts. Rather, seeking a balance between the two can guide us towards making choices that are not only rational but also emotionally fulfilling.

Understanding the mindset of facts versus feelings requires us to be intentional in cultivating a belief system that is grounded in the truth about any given situation. This is the truth about what is and not what only may be or could be. It is recognizing the things we have the power to change as well as the ones we will need to learn to accept because we cannot change them.

One way I have found to help in a dilemma about facts versus feelings is to journal the questions, “What am I feeling about the current situation I am facing?” and then, “What is true about the current situation I am facing?” This can really prove to be a game-changer if you are prone to lean into your feelings, which may be assumptions about the way you believe that something is going to turn out.

Our feelings follow our actions, which allows us to be able to choose to do the next basic right thing, when we aren't certain what to do.. This choice will serve us well in developing a belief system that, “what is fact is true”, and “what is assumed, is yet to be determined”. 

Until next time.... 

-Sheri xo

When we are faced with a crisis or struggle, it is tempting to despair. Despair often makes us feel immobilized.

But it’s in this struggle that the best opportunities emerge, if we are looking for them. 

A crisis is an opportunity to change, grow, learn, reflect, and become better. It’s where we discover who we are and how to find opportunities that were unimaginable before the crisis.

When I experienced divorce, I had to venture to find myself and learn to reinvent. It led me to an opportunity that allowed me to eventually have my own business.

When I failed at communication in my relationships, I learned to improve and grow better.

When I ended up closing the business I had purchased, it led me to start one in light of the current season in life where I can coach, mentor and provide insight in things I’ve learned.

When my children have experienced difficulties and I am powerless to change anything, it has helped me develop more patience, learn the power of raw emotions and what can happen when you alter your perspective.

When my husband and I have arguments it is an opportunity to learn more about each other and grow closer and become better at finding common ground. I’ve learned that conflict, once resolved, brings intimacy.

When my daughters grew up and left to meet their appointments in life, I learned to grieve the loss of a simpler life when they were with me and to be vigilant to watch them soar as I cheer them on from where I stand. I am so proud of all they do because I have a big piece of my heart invested.... their wins feel like my wins too! And their challenges often feel like bigger challenges than my own, because there is little I can do to make things better... like I could when they were little girls and experienced a bump or bruise or a careless word spoken in haste. I felt more assured and confident to help them recognize good things then, in spite of only struggles. It seemed much easier when a kiss or hug, ice cream or a lollipop could quickly help them to get up, dust themselves off and get right back into whatever they were doing.

There is more opportunity for reflection, growth and sustainable change during adversity than any other time.  We can focus on finding the “more” of life. It is the place where we can find renewed hope when all else seems bleak.  It is here that we often renew our faith in God who uses challenges to lead us to greater purpose in life.

We have the opportunity to find the good in the struggle, if we choose to look. I have learned that we will pretty much find whatever we expect to find.  If we look for the good, it is evident in places we may never have considered.  If we look for the bad things, they seem to multiply and be enlarged in every direction we seek.

Life is about perception. What do you perceive to be the good that can come from your present set of circumstances?  If you feel you’ve hit bottom, there is only one place to look ~ up!

Be careful not to step on the orchids while searching for the roses. Rare are the opportunities that come tagged with a guarantee for success.

Life as you know it may change. Who said it would be easy? But who’s to say it won’t be good, even better. Let go of all that isn’t working for you and step up to opportunity that may be the thing you would’ve never imagined. When we relinquish what isn't working and what we can't control, we open ourselves up for unlimited options. 

So when life as I knew it changed and I felt paralyzed, I purposed that each day I will get up, show up and do the best I can with what lies before me.  

I never knew how well life could work until I decided to do the next basic “right” thing and allow the opportunities each day to be treated as something of value as opposed to something I would dread.

The irony is that I have learned that when I work to overcome that which cripples me with fear, the unknown, I find things really do happen for a reason!

I have a friend who has recently suffered a number of serious challenges with the loss of two family members, a serious health crisis of another family member and just exhaustion and weariness from it all. Yet, her light shines brightly and it inspires me to keep on keeping on despite some challenges I've faced in the last few months. 

What a joy it can be to allow God to use what weighs us down to be something that helps another to soar. 

When it comes to adding joy in our relationships, often when we can share our burdens and are assured again of those who are there for us, it reorders our priorities and we can again celebrate the gifts we have in those we love that we may lose sight of on occasion. 

As we head into the upcoming holiday season of thankfulness, spend sometime reflecting and journaling about the real opportunities you have that may have felt like challenges at one time. Be sure to share your thankfulness with those who sprinkle the joy and their sparkle just when you need it most.

And then go out and leave your own kinds of sparkle.... your light, just like my friend's, may be just one someone else needs to find the next step they need to take. 

Blessings and peace!

Until next time.....

-Sheri xoxo

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Do you have a personal or professional relationship in which there always seems to be a level of tension present? Sometimes, the more contact we have with certain people, the more we become aware of a strain in the relationship.  Do you know what I’m talking about?  

How do you determine the shifts you experience in certain relationships? Perhaps, the connection, at one point, was mutually beneficial, but now many times you may feel taken advantage of, even exploited?   What’s the best way to handle such relationships?  

If you answered yes to any of these questions it could be an indication that some personal boundaries are in order to protect yourself by reducing the stress and working to improve the relationship?  What would this look like and how does one do it?  If you’re willing, I’d like to coach you through this a bit by sharing my perspective on boundaries. 

 

Any one or all of these may arise when we position ourselves at the center of others lives, and begin to take responsibility for others that is neither appropriate nor healthy.  When this happens, others may not be aware that we are feeling overwhelmed or taken advantage of in the relationship.  Prayerful consideration of a plan to engage them in a loving and honest conversation can be a good place to start.   This would provide an opportunity for mutual feelings and concerns to be shared in an effort to clear up confusion, and help to get the relationship back on an even keel.

However, it is often the case that boundary issues are generally more complicated.  My experience is that persons who regularly disregard others’ boundaries, often referred to as boundary busters, have a hard time hearing “NO”.  

This is very difficult for many of us who consider ourselves peacemakers and we may struggle with the idea that this seems like we would be acting selfishly.  We may find ourselves in this place as a result of having good motives to “esteem others greater than ourselves”. While this is Scripturally correct, I believe it is important here to recognize that Jesus modeled relationships built on mutual voluntary concern for others.  

In the case where He approached the lame man by the pool of Bethesda, He didn’t run over this person’s option to remain in the state he was in.  Jesus asked him if he desired to be healed. In speaking with the rich young ruler, Jesus gave him the “choice” to own responsibility for how he would live.  In both situations, Jesus respected each one’s right to govern their lives by their personal limits.  One man chose well, the other one did not.  The Bible indicates that both men were aware of the responsibilities around their choices.

When you decline to get involved in a particular event or activity, a boundary buster may attempt several strategies to get you to change your ‘no’ to ‘yes’.  You may feel bulldozed into doing what you had originally decided against, and later feel angry and resentful.  Eventually, this anger can begin to create tension in the relationship. It erodes self-esteem by introducing fear that acceptance is based on our compliance.  

I am a previous owner of a barbershop, where I worked for nearly two years before acquiring it from the original owner. One of the women who worked there since the beginning felt privileged around certain financial rewards because she was somewhat of a “star player” on the team.  At the beginning of my ownership, accompanied by my CPA, I laid out the plan for compensation, which was based on commission in a manner that made the playing field level.  

This particular lady, suspecting that she wasn’t getting preferential treatment, began discussing finances with others who worked there.  Upon finding out that everyone was paid at the same rate, she was livid, to the point of reminding me what the previous owner had promised.  After careful consideration, I called a meeting with her and politely laid down the guidelines, acutely aware that if she chose to walk I could very well expect a third of the clientele to follow her.  Still I stuck to my guns.  And, she walked.  She had notified her customers and many followed.  Those who didn’t called and I provided her contact information.  In less than a year, I got word that she had retired, sold her house and moved out of state.  I found this out as a result of about 95% of her clientele resumed coming to the barbershop, and, many, chose to see me personally.  Many commented that they appreciated that I had given them her contact info and came back to the shop because they liked the atmosphere and felt comfortable.

This particular incident was a turning point in my life.  My biggest learning curve around this was that when I choose to set boundaries, having good motives, I can trust that God will always work it out for good.  To this day even though I no longer cut hair, I am in touch with many former customers.  I didn’t rely on the world’s means of provision for my shop.  I learned to believe in a God who has promised never to leave me or forsake me and to always provide for me!

Boundaries are not a means of getting revenge.  They are a means of applying self-control in our lives by giving every relationship we have the opportunity to grow and flourish.  While they may seem harsh or inconsiderate, they are a visible means of communication to others.  

Boundaries, like fences, need to have gates. The gate serves to push the bad out and to receive the good in.  A fence with no gate is nothing more than a wall.

In such situations, a relationship can be put back on track by calmly and assertively establishing limits around what we will or will not tolerate in our lives. This may be met with disbelief or disdain by some, but over time consistent limits will either draw the relationship back into healthy alignment or create distance.  In either case, the level of respect that you are regarded with will typically increase.  

The difficulty here will be in “feeling” that we will lose the relationship.  A different perspective may be that we are setting it up to potentially improve the relationship over time.  It really is loving-kindness toward ourself and the other person when we work to create a safe relationship of mutual regard for one another’s feelings and desires.

A sidebar to the barbershop story is that within several months from the time the former coworker left my shop to work at a different location a few miles away, she actually sent me a card to say “thank you” for directing her clients to her new location.  Thus, respect comes into play around setting appropriate limits in a kind and considerate manner and with a level of consistency that allows the other person to regard you with an assurance that you do, in fact, keep your word.  By establishing these limits early on, you can relax and enjoy more peaceful and loving relationships.  

 
Becoming drawn to those who respect our boundaries, gives us the support we need to develop healthy limits with those with whom we are in a relationship that has some challenges..  We can begin to develop the courage of evaluating our relationships and determining where or when boundaries may need to be placed.  

It is absolutely essential to have support as you begin the process of establishing safe limits in a difficult relationship or situation in life. We also need to be respectful of others’ boundaries. Thus, setting an example of the way we desire to be treated.


Boundaries provide the structure for balance and success in our lives and work. When we learn to value what we are responsible for: such as our feelings, talents, thoughts, attitudes, behavior and personal wellbeing, we can take necessary steps to protect them.  

In protecting our treasures, i.e. guarding our hearts, we are able to allow the good to get in and the bad to stay out. 

Guilty feelings are normal when we begin to establish boundaries.  

Setting limits in our lives may activate a critical internal judge.  When we cease listening to the overactive conscience and respond according to values of love, kindness, responsibility and forgiveness, the feelings of guilt will diminish.  

It is okay for us to say no to things that God would not want for us either.  The difficulty comes when we fear the reactions of others and / or the loss of relationship.  This is why a support system made up of people who will respect our ‘no’ is so important. 

Unless we are free to say “no” we are not truly free to say “yes” out of a heart of love and service.  Anything short of saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when we choose is out of obligation and not out of freedom.

If you recognize your need to establish safe and loving boundaries and are uncertain as to where you should begin, consider getting some coaching.  Coaching will provide you the opportunity to express your concerns, receive an objective opinion around your motives, and the opportunity to do a little “role” play to be able to look at the view from both sides of the “fence”.

In addition to learning how to establish limits, coaching provides you with an opportunity to receive support to have those difficult conversations and encouragement as you wait and allow God to do the work in the heart of the other person.

For more information regarding how coaching can help you to establish healthy boundaries, please check out my website at JoyFilledRelationships.com.

Unfortunately, depending on the safety of the situation, boundaries may best be put in motion within the safety of a coach, pastor, counselor or mutual friend of those in the relationship.  If your particular situation could become dangerous, seek the help of those who can offer you the safety that you need, prior to laying the foundation for the needed limits.


Healthy, mature boundaries provide the freedom to establish goals based on personal values. Setting these goals helps us determine our God-given purpose and the balance to better navigate life. 

We make choices based on what we determine to be important and not out of fear of how others may react.   When we are free to say no, we are then free to say yes.  

We build better relationships by setting safe limits and truly being able to live at peace with others.

Until next time....

-Sheri xo

Toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviors and fear-based mindsets will consistently derail our efforts, drain our energy and hinder our growth and ability to create a life we won’t need to try to escape from. Are you tired of falling into the same negative patterns in your relationships? Do you find yourself feeling stuck, frustrated, and emotionally drained by repetitive cycles of conflict and disappointment? Don't let negative patterns dictate the course of your relationships any longer. It's time to break free….

Since successfully navigating the challenges of divorce, abandonment and a host of other relationship challenges in both childhood and in marriage, I have spent nearly 20 years coaching numerous women, both personally and professionally, and equipping them with the tools and strategies necessary to experience a transformational process that allows them to create joy-filled relationships and emotional stability!

If you are Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries, then we need to chat…..!

Recently, I woke up with the thought that God tells us not to be anxious (Philippians 4:6). Our willingness to live out this guidance principle from His Word allows us to meet the challenges of life in a more purposeful, less-stressed frame of mind. 

Patience is a huge piece of emotional wholeness and comes from our living intentionally, or as I like to coin the phrase, “Life by Design, not Default”.

Later this same day, I decided it was time to untwist the cords on my plantation blinds on two windows upstairs. They had been left in a tied-up, tangled-up state due to the fact that they are not in my typical line of vision as I am mostly downstairs. Also, the fact is, they are in the middle of my husband, Jeff's office, and it's not a task I would want to have him watching over my shoulder... LOL!

At first, I was letting thoughts of irritation invade my peaceful mindset and not utilizing patience. I was focusing on not wanting to do this right now because it was too warm in the room and the fact that there were many other things I could be doing that would be of more value than standing there untwisting the blinds. 

As soon as I recognized that these negative thoughts were actually making the project more distasteful, I challenged my thoughts to reflect back on my early morning musings about patience and anxiety. I began to focus on how thankful I am to have a nice home and to have the opportunity to delight in making it a cozy and peaceful home.

I often get a front-row seat to moderate anxiety, with my beloved fur-baby, Max. He is a 5 year old golden retriever who really has a challenging time accepting change. He wants to be fed and walked at the scheduled time his internal clock dictates to him. If I move a chair or a lamp, he has to review what has happened and be given time to adjust. 

If my hubby, Jeff, who is Max’s best bud, is away, Max may pace a while, whine at the door or lounge with his big head and beautiful puppy eyes, resting on my lap. He likes sameness. He is incredibly anxious and pants fairly loudly when he isn’t having his routine to go down the way he expects.

I’m a lot like Max. I like to sit in my favorite place, which is near a window. wherever I am. I like to drink my coffee or tea from one particular mug. I like the bed made as soon as I get out of it. When I return home, I beat a path to place my purse in the same spot on the same shelf, time after time. I actually do not like to travel (yep, now you know my biggest quirk), because I like to sleep in my own bed! 

My reasoning for this behavior is that, more than anything, I absolutely detest having to search for anything or readjust to new surroundings.

I began to think of how God is teaching me to choose to be patient and work in a calm manner, rather than murmuring, and allowing my feelings of discontent to make me feel like I have a right to grumble. I thought how I have often been given a gentle nudge by Jesus, who loves me and wants the best for me. 

Left to my own devices, I would likely be the same person in 20 years that I am today.... never growing, never exiting my comfort zone. What a waste that would be, of a beautiful gift of life that I have been given!

In this and numerous other incidences, when I stop and listen to myself and overwrite my dislike for doing certain things or being in certain places, I can happily agree that the anxiety I feel around being dissatisfied can quickly turn to peace and a serene state of mind, when I choose to accept my situation and simply be patient.

My Grandmother would typically say about uncomfortable circumstances, “It came to pass, not to stay!” Yet my murmuring, complaining and finding fault certainly can make the staying part seem way too long!

Another thing Grandma often said was, "You will find whatever it is you are looking for in a given situation. If you look for the good, that's what you will find; if you look for the bad, that is all you will see!" This is certainly true in my life.

Anxiety is like being held at gunpoint while being robbed. It snarls around our present moments and blurs our focus. If that isn't enough, it robs our energy, our health and our hope for a brighter day. There is absolutely nothing good in being anxious. 

And the irony of the whole situation is that anxiety does not help anything. Worry, fear and doubt separate us from the peace God paid such a high price to provide for us. Nothing changes, improves or morphs into our ideal dream. We are left tired, angry, disillusioned and wrung out. 

It's like being in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist. (This is someone who needs and seeks too much attention, wants to be admired, and does not have the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others). A totally toxic situation for those in relationship with them. But that's a story for another day and I digress. 

How do we take steps to overcome anxiety? 

As I see it, patience can help us to calmly assess situations in ways that can help us manage expectations in how we envision an outcome. Often, it's our expectations that things 'ought' to turn out in a certain way, that creates anxiety in the first place. We don't like the steps needed to get to a desired outcome, although, we have the ideal belief that the outcome will be like the grand finale at a Fourth of July fireworks celebration.

But it takes a whole lotta whole lotta to get there! We love to plan the party, yet the shopping, chopping, cooking, making lists, recruiting volunteers, answering RSVPs about directions, what to wear, what gift to bring yada yada yada, can be overwhelming at times.

Reflecting back on the beginning of my post, it was my underlying thoughts that spending the time in an uncomfortable, overly warm office to stand for half an hour untangling cords on plantation shutters would be a boring, waste of time and who would notice anyway. This was the actual culprit behind my anxiety and dissatisfaction. It wasn't the actual task itself. It was my underlying thought process.

There is a reason that Scripture teaches us in Philippians 2:14 to do all that we have to do without murmuring (grumbling) and complaining. It makes the job so much worse. And who wants to be an audience when someone whines about their tasks? Yep, go ahead and sign me up, right? NO! Thank you!

The opposite of grumbling would be gratitude. I have a lot to be thankful for in my home and the opportunity and good health to care for it well. It is a privilege that many do not have. 

I honestly believe there are three things that we can cultivate that will help us to reduce anxiety. They are to forgive when we've been wronged, be thankful for what we are given, and be content with the tasks that are ours to complete. After all, isn't this exactly how we would teach children to be?

If you haven't observed young children for a while, make a point to do so. They laugh a lot, throw a lot of energy (while smiling) into their tasks, and quickly forgive and move right on with their play time with other children.

What a beautiful example of what Jesus meant when He told us in Matthew 8:13 that, 'unless we become as little children we will not enter into heaven'.

And they delight themselves in their creative abilities and the tasks they have to do. They are often tireless in their efforts to build forts, create lego cities, cook in their play kitchens, and serve guests at their tea parties.

Yet, all of these 'play events' require work and focus to complete. But they enjoy it and I believe one thing makes the big difference. It is found in their attitudes. They have 'chosen' to do their task and do it with a great attitude. Most.Of.The.Time. Like us, they do have their off days. And we love them for being so real and authentic.

So, where can we point our focus today to help reduce our anxiety and experience more lasting joy? It’s actually closer than you may think! 

When we are intentional with our attitudes, our patience, managing our expectations and being quick to forgive wrongs done to us, we catch many more moments that take our breath away!

I pray today will be a day just like that for you!

Until next time.....

Sheri xo

Btw....If you would like to learn more about my online coaching program kicking off on this Fall, my website is fully operational now.... JoyFilledRelationships.com

To see how this program may benefit you, feel free to schedule a free consult with me at: https://calendly.com/sheri-geyer/consult 

And please share this info with other women that you believe would like more Joy in their life and relationships! xo

Several years ago, I had laser surgery on both eyes as a preventative measure against narrow angle closure glaucoma. During the weeks of my procedure and healing, I had to wear my glasses during my waking hours and not use my contact lenses. 

Not so bad, right? 

Well, not anymore. But, it wasn’t always that way … At age 11, my already coca-cola bottle thick glasses were upgraded to bifocals. Pretty tall order for a little girl who weighed about 70 pounds soaking wet. 

Not the accessory that I wanted to add to my daily wardrobe. It didn’t matter how pretty my frames were, no one could see them for looking at two eyes that appeared to be a “uni-eye”.

The fun really began when I wanted to start wearing makeup. Guess what makeup does — it enhances your eyes so they can look larger. I tried every way possible to get mine to look smaller. 

I prayed often for my eyes to be healed.  If that wasn’t enough, I had overactive sebaceous glands and large pores.  So add acne to my list of “how do you see me now” wonderment and you get the idea of what middle school and high school were like for me. 

I was blessed to have cool, name brand clothes. But, no matter how I wrapped it, the package that I presented caused people to stare and whisper. And, of course, that made it a challenge for people to be friends with me because it meant they would risk also being considered, 'not cool'.

There were many times that I came home in tears wishing I never had to go to school again. (I homeschooled my girls, probably, in part, to feelings that I carried from this point in my life).

Fast forward to age 17 – I discovered benzoyl peroxide, got my braces off and found a doctor that would fit me for contact lenses. 

With an overall improvement in my appearance, and starting college, I was moving up from stay-to-myself-shy to Sheri-the-social-butterfly. 

Suffice to say, my life in college was much different than high school, except for the grades. 

I had been a bookworm for way too long – at one point, in life, around age 13, I would read a Nancy Drew Mystery every single day. I was probably the only kid who checked out the maximum amount of books at the school library and actually read every one!

Over the course of life I married and gave birth to three amazing and beautiful daughters! 

During my pregnancy with my oldest daughter, Angel, I prayed every day that she would have perfect eyesight, straight teeth, clear skin and curly hair! Everything I didn’t have… and she’s pretty well batting a thousand, apart from a little astigmatism. I prayed for AnnaLynne and Rachel too, but probably not with such fervor about their personal appearances. (If you've seen my daughters, you would agree that God sure did make them pretty! LOL)

I learned that my self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth were not necessarily better because I had evolved from my caterpillar stage to the butterfly phase. Regardless of the outward changes, inside I still felt empty, unlovely and unlovable. 

I equated outward appearance to feeling loved, accepted, cool, and all the things. What a disappointment to find this wasn’t the case at all.

At 22, after having grown up in church and spending some years being the prodigal, I got my business straight with God and began a deeper journey to intimacy with Him. (By far, the best decision I've ever made by-the-way!)

At 39, I began doing a Christian weight loss program that focused on drawing closer to God so He was my comfort and not food. 

During this journey, I learned that God had been with me through all of those years.  He was and is the Father I need to teach me how to do this life well. It is beyond belief the difference having this knowledge made in my life. 

You see, I lost my dad in a car accident at age 9, I missed out on the valuable male insight he could have provided about guys, dating, not compromising my values to feel loved, marriage, car repair, career paths etc. I lived that loss numerous times like when I would attend a wedding and I would watch the bride walk down the aisle on the arm of her father. 

I began to ask God for the abundant life His Word promises. This would take me on a journey that led me to value people but to no longer be driven by my desire for love and acceptance from them.  

I began to see myself as God sees me. I saw that I am beautiful and that every struggle I have faced has served to draw me closer to Him and to the understanding that He has seen me at my best and my worst and loves me unconditionally.

All the while, He was patiently teaching me to love myself. He sent little messengers along the way, like the little four year old girl who put her hands on my face and told me that I was pretty, that Jesus loves me, and when I get to heaven He would heal all the “holes” (acne scars) on my face.  

Once after we had both attended a leadership training, a friend that I served with at church told me that regardless of the acne scars that I have, the more he had gotten to know me, the more they seemed to disappear and they in no way “detracted” from my true beauty. I was proud of him for his courage.

So today, when I wear my glasses and someone comments about how thick they are, I can respond without feeling embarrassed. I smile when I touch my skin and find that as my daughter Rachel suggested, by eliminating foundation makeup and simply using a concealer as needed, my skin has actually improved. I would have never imagined I could look in at myself in the mirror without a heavy layer of foundation makeup on my skin and see beauty. 

Wow, God! He can certainly change our perspective and our hearts!

Sometimes, I still ask God to heal my skin and eyes. I know He can if He chooses too. I am now happy behind my peepers, when I choose to wear them, and in my own skin. It probably helps me to be more considerate in my actions so that my inner beauty can shine through.

So at the end of the day, and in the midst of the many times I’ve felt embarrassed, having learned to love and see myself through my Father’s eyes truly has made the most amazing difference. I have stepped out of my shy-I'd-rather-be-in-the-shadows season of life and gone on to pursue much bigger things than I would have ever imagined I could do or have the courage to even try.

If you struggle with feelings of low self-worth, I hope you will take these to the Lord. (I highly recommend a journal... it's the best low/no cost therapy I've ever found). God has a wonderful way of reminding us of what a treasure we are to Him. 

Allow Him to whisper His truth to you and ask Him to allow you to see you through His eyes.... You will never 'see' the same again! 

Until next time,

-Sheri x0