Recently, I woke up with the thought that God tells us not to be anxious (Philippians 4:6). Our willingness to live out this guidance principle from His Word allows us to meet the challenges of life in a more purposeful, less-stressed frame of mind.
Patience is a huge piece of emotional wholeness and comes from our living intentionally, or as I like to coin the phrase, “Life by Design, not Default”.
Later this same day, I decided it was time to untwist the cords on my plantation blinds on two windows upstairs. They had been left in a tied-up, tangled-up state due to the fact that they are not in my typical line of vision as I am mostly downstairs. Also, the fact is, they are in the middle of my husband, Jeff's office, and it's not a task I would want to have him watching over my shoulder... LOL!
At first, I was letting thoughts of irritation invade my peaceful mindset and not utilizing patience. I was focusing on not wanting to do this right now because it was too warm in the room and the fact that there were many other things I could be doing that would be of more value than standing there untwisting the blinds.
As soon as I recognized that these negative thoughts were actually making the project more distasteful, I challenged my thoughts to reflect back on my early morning musings about patience and anxiety. I began to focus on how thankful I am to have a nice home and to have the opportunity to delight in making it a cozy and peaceful home.
I often get a front-row seat to moderate anxiety, with my beloved fur-baby, Max. He is a 5 year old golden retriever who really has a challenging time accepting change. He wants to be fed and walked at the scheduled time his internal clock dictates to him. If I move a chair or a lamp, he has to review what has happened and be given time to adjust.
If my hubby, Jeff, who is Max’s best bud, is away, Max may pace a while, whine at the door or lounge with his big head and beautiful puppy eyes, resting on my lap. He likes sameness. He is incredibly anxious and pants fairly loudly when he isn’t having his routine to go down the way he expects.
I’m a lot like Max. I like to sit in my favorite place, which is near a window. wherever I am. I like to drink my coffee or tea from one particular mug. I like the bed made as soon as I get out of it. When I return home, I beat a path to place my purse in the same spot on the same shelf, time after time. I actually do not like to travel (yep, now you know my biggest quirk), because I like to sleep in my own bed!
My reasoning for this behavior is that, more than anything, I absolutely detest having to search for anything or readjust to new surroundings.
I began to think of how God is teaching me to choose to be patient and work in a calm manner, rather than murmuring, and allowing my feelings of discontent to make me feel like I have a right to grumble. I thought how I have often been given a gentle nudge by Jesus, who loves me and wants the best for me.
Left to my own devices, I would likely be the same person in 20 years that I am today.... never growing, never exiting my comfort zone. What a waste that would be, of a beautiful gift of life that I have been given!
In this and numerous other incidences, when I stop and listen to myself and overwrite my dislike for doing certain things or being in certain places, I can happily agree that the anxiety I feel around being dissatisfied can quickly turn to peace and a serene state of mind, when I choose to accept my situation and simply be patient.
My Grandmother would typically say about uncomfortable circumstances, “It came to pass, not to stay!” Yet my murmuring, complaining and finding fault certainly can make the staying part seem way too long!
Another thing Grandma often said was, "You will find whatever it is you are looking for in a given situation. If you look for the good, that's what you will find; if you look for the bad, that is all you will see!" This is certainly true in my life.
Anxiety is like being held at gunpoint while being robbed. It snarls around our present moments and blurs our focus. If that isn't enough, it robs our energy, our health and our hope for a brighter day. There is absolutely nothing good in being anxious.
And the irony of the whole situation is that anxiety does not help anything. Worry, fear and doubt separate us from the peace God paid such a high price to provide for us. Nothing changes, improves or morphs into our ideal dream. We are left tired, angry, disillusioned and wrung out.
It's like being in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist. (This is someone who needs and seeks too much attention, wants to be admired, and does not have the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others). A totally toxic situation for those in relationship with them. But that's a story for another day and I digress.
How do we take steps to overcome anxiety?
As I see it, patience can help us to calmly assess situations in ways that can help us manage expectations in how we envision an outcome. Often, it's our expectations that things 'ought' to turn out in a certain way, that creates anxiety in the first place. We don't like the steps needed to get to a desired outcome, although, we have the ideal belief that the outcome will be like the grand finale at a Fourth of July fireworks celebration.
But it takes a whole lotta whole lotta to get there! We love to plan the party, yet the shopping, chopping, cooking, making lists, recruiting volunteers, answering RSVPs about directions, what to wear, what gift to bring yada yada yada, can be overwhelming at times.
Reflecting back on the beginning of my post, it was my underlying thoughts that spending the time in an uncomfortable, overly warm office to stand for half an hour untangling cords on plantation shutters would be a boring, waste of time and who would notice anyway. This was the actual culprit behind my anxiety and dissatisfaction. It wasn't the actual task itself. It was my underlying thought process.
There is a reason that Scripture teaches us in Philippians 2:14 to do all that we have to do without murmuring (grumbling) and complaining. It makes the job so much worse. And who wants to be an audience when someone whines about their tasks? Yep, go ahead and sign me up, right? NO! Thank you!
The opposite of grumbling would be gratitude. I have a lot to be thankful for in my home and the opportunity and good health to care for it well. It is a privilege that many do not have.
I honestly believe there are three things that we can cultivate that will help us to reduce anxiety. They are to forgive when we've been wronged, be thankful for what we are given, and be content with the tasks that are ours to complete. After all, isn't this exactly how we would teach children to be?
If you haven't observed young children for a while, make a point to do so. They laugh a lot, throw a lot of energy (while smiling) into their tasks, and quickly forgive and move right on with their play time with other children.
What a beautiful example of what Jesus meant when He told us in Matthew 8:13 that, 'unless we become as little children we will not enter into heaven'.
And they delight themselves in their creative abilities and the tasks they have to do. They are often tireless in their efforts to build forts, create lego cities, cook in their play kitchens, and serve guests at their tea parties.
Yet, all of these 'play events' require work and focus to complete. But they enjoy it and I believe one thing makes the big difference. It is found in their attitudes. They have 'chosen' to do their task and do it with a great attitude. Most.Of.The.Time. Like us, they do have their off days. And we love them for being so real and authentic.
So, where can we point our focus today to help reduce our anxiety and experience more lasting joy? It’s actually closer than you may think!
When we are intentional with our attitudes, our patience, managing our expectations and being quick to forgive wrongs done to us, we catch many more moments that take our breath away!
I pray today will be a day just like that for you!
Until next time.....
Sheri xo
Btw....If you would like to learn more about my online coaching program kicking off on this Fall, my website is fully operational now.... JoyFilledRelationships.com
To see how this program may benefit you, feel free to schedule a free consult with me at: https://calendly.com/sheri-geyer/consult
And please share this info with other women that you believe would like more Joy in their life and relationships! xo
Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*
*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ!
Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!
Several years ago, I had laser surgery on both eyes as a preventative measure against narrow angle closure glaucoma. During the weeks of my procedure and healing, I had to wear my glasses during my waking hours and not use my contact lenses.
Not so bad, right?
Well, not anymore. But, it wasn’t always that way … At age 11, my already coca-cola bottle thick glasses were upgraded to bifocals. Pretty tall order for a little girl who weighed about 70 pounds soaking wet.
Not the accessory that I wanted to add to my daily wardrobe. It didn’t matter how pretty my frames were, no one could see them for looking at two eyes that appeared to be a “uni-eye”.
The fun really began when I wanted to start wearing makeup. Guess what makeup does — it enhances your eyes so they can look larger. I tried every way possible to get mine to look smaller.
I prayed often for my eyes to be healed. If that wasn’t enough, I had overactive sebaceous glands and large pores. So add acne to my list of “how do you see me now” wonderment and you get the idea of what middle school and high school were like for me.
I was blessed to have cool, name brand clothes. But, no matter how I wrapped it, the package that I presented caused people to stare and whisper. And, of course, that made it a challenge for people to be friends with me because it meant they would risk also being considered, 'not cool'.
There were many times that I came home in tears wishing I never had to go to school again. (I homeschooled my girls, probably, in part, to feelings that I carried from this point in my life).
Fast forward to age 17 – I discovered benzoyl peroxide, got my braces off and found a doctor that would fit me for contact lenses.
With an overall improvement in my appearance, and starting college, I was moving up from stay-to-myself-shy to Sheri-the-social-butterfly.
Suffice to say, my life in college was much different than high school, except for the grades.
I had been a bookworm for way too long – at one point, in life, around age 13, I would read a Nancy Drew Mystery every single day. I was probably the only kid who checked out the maximum amount of books at the school library and actually read every one!
Over the course of life I married and gave birth to three amazing and beautiful daughters!
During my pregnancy with my oldest daughter, Angel, I prayed every day that she would have perfect eyesight, straight teeth, clear skin and curly hair! Everything I didn’t have… and she’s pretty well batting a thousand, apart from a little astigmatism. I prayed for AnnaLynne and Rachel too, but probably not with such fervor about their personal appearances. (If you've seen my daughters, you would agree that God sure did make them pretty! LOL)
I learned that my self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth were not necessarily better because I had evolved from my caterpillar stage to the butterfly phase. Regardless of the outward changes, inside I still felt empty, unlovely and unlovable.
I equated outward appearance to feeling loved, accepted, cool, and all the things. What a disappointment to find this wasn’t the case at all.
At 22, after having grown up in church and spending some years being the prodigal, I got my business straight with God and began a deeper journey to intimacy with Him. (By far, the best decision I've ever made by-the-way!)
At 39, I began doing a Christian weight loss program that focused on drawing closer to God so He was my comfort and not food.
During this journey, I learned that God had been with me through all of those years. He was and is the Father I need to teach me how to do this life well. It is beyond belief the difference having this knowledge made in my life.
You see, I lost my dad in a car accident at age 9, I missed out on the valuable male insight he could have provided about guys, dating, not compromising my values to feel loved, marriage, car repair, career paths etc. I lived that loss numerous times like when I would attend a wedding and I would watch the bride walk down the aisle on the arm of her father.
I began to ask God for the abundant life His Word promises. This would take me on a journey that led me to value people but to no longer be driven by my desire for love and acceptance from them.
I began to see myself as God sees me. I saw that I am beautiful and that every struggle I have faced has served to draw me closer to Him and to the understanding that He has seen me at my best and my worst and loves me unconditionally.
All the while, He was patiently teaching me to love myself. He sent little messengers along the way, like the little four year old girl who put her hands on my face and told me that I was pretty, that Jesus loves me, and when I get to heaven He would heal all the “holes” (acne scars) on my face.
Once after we had both attended a leadership training, a friend that I served with at church told me that regardless of the acne scars that I have, the more he had gotten to know me, the more they seemed to disappear and they in no way “detracted” from my true beauty. I was proud of him for his courage.
So today, when I wear my glasses and someone comments about how thick they are, I can respond without feeling embarrassed. I smile when I touch my skin and find that as my daughter Rachel suggested, by eliminating foundation makeup and simply using a concealer as needed, my skin has actually improved. I would have never imagined I could look in at myself in the mirror without a heavy layer of foundation makeup on my skin and see beauty.
Wow, God! He can certainly change our perspective and our hearts!
Sometimes, I still ask God to heal my skin and eyes. I know He can if He chooses too. I am now happy behind my peepers, when I choose to wear them, and in my own skin. It probably helps me to be more considerate in my actions so that my inner beauty can shine through.
So at the end of the day, and in the midst of the many times I’ve felt embarrassed, having learned to love and see myself through my Father’s eyes truly has made the most amazing difference. I have stepped out of my shy-I'd-rather-be-in-the-shadows season of life and gone on to pursue much bigger things than I would have ever imagined I could do or have the courage to even try.
If you struggle with feelings of low self-worth, I hope you will take these to the Lord. (I highly recommend a journal... it's the best low/no cost therapy I've ever found). God has a wonderful way of reminding us of what a treasure we are to Him.
Allow Him to whisper His truth to you and ask Him to allow you to see you through His eyes.... You will never 'see' the same again!
Until next time,
-Sheri x0
Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*
*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ!
Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!
If you feel you could use one, here's some wisdom for the journey.....
Today is a brand new day with new mercies. Your life is a blank piece of paper. How will you fill it?
I have gained a tremendous amount of wisdom in my almost 62 years. It began with my grandmother's investment in my life. Much of her sayings, quotes, colloquialisms are the thoughts my heart and mind land on when I am reflecting, wondering, and hoping for guidance and answers. My mother continued her mother's legacy to me and now, I aspire to live that out for my girls and their families.
In addition, the greatest wisdom is what God has provided for us in His Word and through the experiences He brings us through.
Below are some things that I would consider my Grandma-isms or my philosophies for doing life.... I would love to hear from you if any of them resonate with you.... Maybe you have a few of your own!?! Please use this link to message me through my website so I can enjoy them too! (https://joyfilledrelationships.com/#contact)
Timeless Wisdom:
Confrontation that seeks to clear the air and restore peace is found in making the effort to listen to a person share their thoughts and feelings. When we know their story, it changes everything!
Whenever you are in doubt, don't.
Finding value in life's difficulties often results from asking the right questions... "What can I learn from this situation?"
When you don't know what to do, do the next basic right thing.
Obstacles are the things you see when you take your eyes OFF the goal.
A good reputation is of more value than great riches.
Guarding our words spares us unnecessary trouble. Want to quickly gain more peace in your life? Decide now to only give advice when asked!
In order to motivate people and release their potential, one thing is required ... you will need to believe in them.
Neither affluence nor education can surpass simple tenacity in the pursuit of success.
Do not withhold good from the one it is due.
The first lies we need to learn to avoid, are the ones spoken by our fears.
Anxiety in the heart causes depression; an encouraging word can bring peace.
Take care of what's important to God and He will take care of what's important to you!
God reserves His very best for those who leave the choice to Him!
A wise man changes his mind, a fool never does.
To be trusted is a greater compliment even than to be loved.
When the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing, we change!. #boundaries
Concentrate on the condition you want not the one you are trying to dispose of.
Treat others as they can be and that is what they become.
We never miss the water until the well runs dry.
Relinquish what isn't working for you ... and you become all you are meant to be!
Consider when you have been wronged that if they are able to live "with it" you are able to live "without it".
Whatever you look for in any given circumstance, you will find. Look for the good, that's what you will find; look for the bad, that's all you will see.
The best days of life begin when you learn to want what you have as opposed to having what you want.
Love is my commitment to the welfare of another.
Perhaps our time here is not so much to accomplish tasks but more to enjoy the presence of God in childlike wonder.
Attempting to solve problems with the same mindset that created them is a waste of time.
If people gossip with you, they will gossip about you.
Love the people who treat you well. Pray for the ones who don’t.
Learn not to trade what you want most for what you want right now.
Don’t jump out of the frying pan into the fire.
If you need undivided devotion; get a dog.
Whatever you do, do it without grumbling. Grumbling makes every task more burdensome.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.
Don’t feed your mind or body with bad things.
Learn to enjoy your own company. Solitude can be empowering.
Sing while in the shower and in the car with children. It helps you to engage, and it helps them to remember.
Fear is an awesome motivator but a cruel taskmaster.
When you do all you can do, God will show up and do what only He can do.
Doing your best trumps not trying when you can’t be the best.
Be thankful in every situation; the good ones for obvious reasons; the difficult ones for the lessons.
There is more opportunity for maturity during adversity than at any other time.
Whatever your current situation, it came to pass, not to stay.
Treat others the way you would like for them to treat you.
If someone will lie to you; they will steal from you.
Live by your values. Work from your passion and strengths.
Every situation can be a win-win. You either win it or you get the lesson from it.
Relinquish your past mistakes, and accept yourself with laughter.
Say what you mean, and truly mean what you say.
Let challenges bring growth, not create excuses.
Let go of resistance and you find peace.
Ask engaging questions to build authentic relationships.
Be alert to the moments that take your breath away.
Manage stress well in order to have the emotional energy to deal with the issues in life.
Resolve conflict before it becomes resentment.
You can have results or excuses, but not both!
Catch a sunset every chance you get.
Enjoy your work everyday. If you can't, find work that will enable you to.
Leave a legacy to your children that will carry them all of their lives.
Develop an openness to learn new things.
Memorize as many of God’s promises as possible.
Remind yourself to slow down, sip the coffee, smell the roses, and smile for no reason.
Cease from strife and worry. All things work out in God’s time.
Trust God’s heart when you can’t see His hand.
Make amends and work out your conflicts.
Avoid destructive habits and people.
Keep your commitments.
Be a person of your word.
Don’t return evil for evil; overcome it with good.
Do as much good as you can, as often as you can.
Pray to God with real words in a real way.
Find a little humor in every situation.
Minimize the things in life that pull you away from what is really important.
Be present at the important events in the lives of those you love.
Realize that the less often you make life “all about you” the more you can enjoy it.
Be fun and pleasant to be with.
Seek to understand rather than to be understood.
Overcome the tendency to judge and replace it with a heart of acceptance.
Live in such a way that the bad things you do are forgiven, and the good things you do bring glory to God and encourage others to seek a better path.
Often, my daughters seem to bring and leave a little sparkle everywhere they go.... I aspire to go higher in doing that as well.
May the wisdom of God and those who have loved you well light your way and make your path clear!
Until next time....
-Sheri xo
Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*
*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ!
Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!
There are certain laws in place that don’t change such as gravity. There are others that are fairly predictable such as reaping & sowing, and regardless of how you drop a slice of bread, it always lands butter-side-down!
Another seemingly predictable law that is set in motion is judgment. We as humans are always judging. We judge ourselves harshly based on how we 'feel' on the inside and compare that image of ourself to the 'outside' of another who we view when they have their best-foot-forward.
We measure others up one side and down the other.
How nice it would be to become more like my dog who is completely non-judgmental and loves me unconditionally as a result. Remind you of anyone??
It is amazing how often we have done something or have opted not to do something based on what we “think” others would say or think about our choice. This prevents us from being free to live authentically.
How can we best choose where we believe God may be leading if we first have to check in with the judgment panel?
Now, I’m not saying we don’t need accountability and support in our lives. These are extremely important.
People who know us well enough to be a source of support and accountability for us do so based on a certain level of permission we have given them to speak into our lives. They have listened to our hearts and shared in our joys and sorrows.
They are in place because they have earned what I like to call “relational” capital and we seek the investment they make in our lives. We are better because of the check and balance system these folks share with us.
The point I am making is that there are some who really do not have our best interest at heart. They are self-appointed judges to determine and verbalize to us what we need to be doing or not doing or perhaps, doing differently.
A good indicator of relationships with these people is that we basically feel like we have to be defensive to protect our treasures, i.e. our thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams around them because they “feel” they have the right to have a “say” in the choices we make.
Whether or not we have given permission for certain people to speak into our lives, we are training them that this is acceptable behavior unless we are pro-active.
It may be necessary to communicate that we are able to make our choices and ask for help when needed, or we may find ourselves paralyzed to move forward based on what we “think” they may “think” we should or should not do.
This limits our ability to live freely and often to achieve greater things in life.
I believe those we have invited to speak truth into our lives sometimes may need to tell us what we need to hear. This can greatly benefit us because the view they see may be more accurate than the one we 'see' or 'think' we see.
If those who are commited to our welfare will be refreshingly honest with us we can grow.
However, if we have significant people in our lives routinely tell us what we want to hear, they really do more harm than good.
If someone cares and respects us, they will set their pre-judgments aside and truly listen with an intent to help us discern what would be best for us in the way of creating a life we desire.
When we are making choices that align with our overall direction in life, they can cheerlead and urge us on.
When we are considering a choice that is not in alignment, they have the courage and permission to remind us of our hopes and desires and question us on where we are in the journey.
The key difference is that someone who believes in us and respects our choices and our right to make them, will ASK questions as opposed to TELL us what they think.
The “telling” part and the asking of “Why” often makes it seem we are backed in a corner. The result is that we may become defensive and make bad choices to “prove” that we can do whatever we want. Nobody wins in this cycle.
I believe God has ignited a candle of passion within each of us to pro-actively seek the purpose(s) He has for us.
We will experience the greatest peace and contentment when we are actively pursuing the path that lets us live out the purposes that we are passionate about.
It is also a journey of continual learning and growth. We are all designed for greatness in the things that matter most in our lives.
We can best achieve this by aligning our will with God’s, having wise counsel and finding our gifting and passion by working and living within these areas.
The best analogy I can have for going against our passion and trying to do life or work a job for some other reason, such as money, prestige etc. is that of certain hair types. (I was in the hair industry for many years!)
Often people with curly hair spend countless hours and dollars trying to straighten and smooth down their hair. While folks with fine, straight hair are trying to color, perm and add volume to their hair, also at a great cost of time, money and frustration.
I often recommended that they work “with” what they have and not "against" it.
In order to get over believing that what other people think about us is so important, it is wise to remember that their opinions of us are really none of our business.
What difference do their opinions make? That all depends on whether we choose to allow it to make a difference or not. The freedom to choose is ours. The power to choose can be ours or we can pass that off if we listen too long to the voices of what others “think”.
I am reminded of a quote that I love from our pastor at our former church in the Atlanta area. He would say to be properly aligned with truth, we need to realize that we often struggle with: "I am who I THINK you THINK I am".
Since that's a tongue-twister at best, here are my thoughts..... If I am overly concerned (and over-thinking) what I believe you think of me, I begin to believe (and likely emulate) whatever it is I think you are thinking of me.
However, IF I were to choose to let the "YOU" in that quote be God alone, my whole understanding can change.
I know certain truths about God... He loves me unconditionally. He says I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. He tells me He knew me before He formed me in my mother's womb. He gave His Son to take my place so I could choose Him and spend eternity in His presence.
So, if I CHOOSE to take God at His Word, this can change everything about the way I 'see' me and I can joyfully align with "I am WHO I THINK God THINKS I am!" Wow, how refreshing is that?!?!?
What is the big fear of what others may judge us to be or not be? More than likely it is a fear of failure or a fear of rejection.
But in reality, what’s the big deal if something doesn’t work the way we had hoped or the outcome doesn't look the way we envisioned? And what if, everyone doesn't love us like Jesus?
We can choose to simply try again, the next time we will have more experience. We never truly “fail” unless we quit trying to find a way to get to an outcome that we can be satisfied with.
And we can choose to accept that we are not going to connect on a deep level with some people. And that is okay.
I believe if we have 3-5 really close friends that we connect with on a routine basis, we are among the richest people in the world.... rich in what truly matters!
The best way to face the fear of what others think and get through to living the life we choose is simply to visualize the worst case scenario and ask ourselves what would we do if this or that happens?
We can play it out in our mind (or on paper) and often begin to see things that may not have been as clear when our idea was merely a dream.
My grandmother always said, “when people (the ones who judge) are talking about ‘you’ (or me) they are leaving someone else alone”.
Meaning that the one thing that is certain is that as sure as people will always be talking, they will always be judging. This is something we have no power to change.
But we do have the power to choose.
Do you want to live in the freedom you have to create a life you love, are passionate about and do not need to escape from?
Or are you satisfied to let other people decide what you can or cannot accomplish?
The choice, either way, is up to you!
Until next time....
-Sheri xo
Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*
*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ!
Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!
I. What Makes Boundaries Important for Healthy Relationships?
"A joy-filled relationship is like a warm cup of coffee on a chilly morning—it wraps around you, warms your heart, and infuses your entire being with a sense of lasting joy."
Healthy boundaries are essential in all of our relationships, since they create a framework for respect, trust, emotional well-being. They guide us in how to set limits on what is acceptable and what is not!. Boundaries define where one person ends and another person begins, ensuring that both individuals have the safety to share their needs, desires, and personal values. They empower us to prioritize our personal well-being rather than compromise our values.
Ultimately, by setting and respecting healthy boundaries, relationships can thrive and grow through mutual respect, understanding, and fulfillment.
Remember, your personal well-being is too important to be compromised by negative patterns. Boundaries allow you to take control of your life, break free from the chains that hold you back, and live a life filled with emotional wholeness and lasting joy!
II. Understanding Negative Patterns and How to Break Free of Them.
Some underlying causes of negative patterns may be due to unmet childhood needs, fear of loss or rejection, feelings of neglect or of not being accepted. Breaking free from negative relational patterns begins with reflecting back on our lives and identifying recurring behaviors that have led to undesirable outcomes.
Once negative patterns emerge in relationships they cause unique challenges and inhibit open and honest communication and intimacy. This may lead to resentment if one or both parties begins to feel unheard or disconnected.
Controlling behaviors can erode trust and lead to a loss of self-esteem, especially in important relationships. Consistent neglect or avoidance of emotional connection can result in hurt, resentment, and a breakdown of the relationship. Breaking free from negative relationship patterns requires a commitment to personal growth and support.
Relationship coaching offers invaluable guidance in navigating these challenges and acquiring necessary tools to make lasting change. A faith community with other Christian women in a group coaching environment provides a powerful way to connect and receive support, encouragement and accountability, and may maximize our efforts.
Acknowledging the detrimental impact of negative patterns can motivate us to make changes. Learning to question the narratives we've been telling ourselves and the choices we’ve made helps us to come to understand that God has a better plan for us than continually repeating relational patterns that create chaos. When we have the support we need to gain clarity on our negative patterns and develop the courage to dismantle them, we will find that the changes we long for are not only needed but they are entirely possible!
III. The Power of Boundaries in Cultivating Healthy and Fulfilling Relationships.
Boundaries act as emotional fences that define where we end and where others begin. Creating and maintaining healthy relationships is a key aspect of leading a fulfilling life. At the heart of joy-filled relationships is a solid understanding of how boundaries serve as essential guides for taking responsibility for our own emotions and actions, while simultaneously encouraging others to do the same. By effectively communicating our limits, desires, and needs, we can build relationships that are rooted in trust, honesty, and reciprocity, where conflicts are minimized, and communication becomes more authentic and meaningful.
Implementing boundaries helps us conserve our emotional energy by preventing us from falling into unhealthy habits such as people-pleasing, codependency, perfectionism or faking fine. They guide us in recognizing when to say "yes" to activities, opportunities, and relationships that align with our values and aspirations. Equally important, boundaries empower us to say a respectful "no" when something doesn't resonate with us, guarding against resentment and burnout.
While boundaries are crucial for cultivating healthy relationships, it is important to note that they require ongoing communication, flexibility, and empathy. They should be flexible yet firm, consistently adjusted as relationships evolve and grow. By openly discussing boundaries with our loved ones, we can create an environment where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued.
IV. What are the Benefits of Setting and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries?
Since boundaries are the secret to maintaining balance, preserving relationships, and achieving personal growth, let's explore even more of the advantages:
1. Empowerment and Self-Respect: Establishing healthy boundaries empowers us to prioritize our needs and values, and not feel obliged to say yes to everything, allowing us to make choices that align with our authentic self.
2. Reduced Stress and Burnout: Without clear boundaries, it becomes challenging to manage our time and energy effectively. By setting limits on our commitments and responsibilities, we create space to rejuvenate, reduce stress, avoid burnout, and enhance our overall well-being.
3. Improved Relationships: Since boundaries are the framework for healthy relationships, they are a blueprint for mutual respect, trust, and communicating our limits, needs, and expectations, helping ensure that our relationships are a source of joy and not chaos.
4. Enhanced Productivity and Focus: When our boundaries are intact, we can devote the necessary energy to our tasks without distractions or interruptions. We are able to create a structured environment that allows us to focus on priorities and becoming more effective and efficient in our endeavors.
5. Improved Emotional Maturity: By understanding and communicating our emotions and needs, we are able to protect our mental and emotional well-being and manage challenging situations with more grace and resilience.
6. Personal Growth and Development: Boundaries serve as a catalyst for personal growth and development. Saying no to what does not align with our goals and values creates space for personal and professional growth. By mastering the art of establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, we are able to eliminate old patterns, beliefs, and limitations and become more intentional on our journey to a more fulfilling, authentic, and empowered life.
V. Creating Joy-Filled Relationships
Toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviors and fear-based mindsets will consistently derail our efforts, drain our energy and hinder our growth and ability to create a life we won’t need to try to escape from.
Are you tired of falling into the same negative patterns in your relationships? Do you find yourself feeling stuck, frustrated, and emotionally drained by repetitive cycles of conflict and disappointment? Don't let negative patterns dictate the course of your relationships any longer. It's time to break free….
Are you Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries?
Since successfully navigating the challenges of divorce, abandonment and a host of other relationship challenges in both my childhood and in marriage, I have spent over 20 years working with numerous women, mostly Christian, and helping to equip them with the necessary tools and strategies to learn to create God-honoring relationships and emotional wellness that brings lasting joy!
At the encouragement and financial provision from my mother, I attended Christian Leadership Coach training in 2007-2008. After completing the training and being mentored by other coaches, I received my Master Christian Life Coaching Certification in 2012. This journey has been one of joy and tears as I've certainly learned that I can't coach or lead where I won't go. God has taken me through the journey of reflecting on my life and identifying negative relational patterns that have held me in bondage and He has taught me a better way to do life and relationships. I am super passionate about coaching other Christian women through their transformational journeys.
Relationship Coaching in a supportive group environment of other Christian women on similar journeys will empower you to gain the confidence you need to challenge your limiting beliefs and unhealthy habits so you can think and live differently. The hope, insight and wisdom available to you will provide an excellent opportunity to be equipped for developing emotional wholeness and cultivating safe relationships that enhance your life. The key factor for creating the joy-filled relationships you desire is your commitment to personal growth.
Your journey towards a more balanced and enriching life, a deeper, more intimate walk with Christ and learning to create Joy-Filled ❤️ Relationships℠ is not only possible, it is closer than you might think!
Stay tuned for more information regarding a Monthly Facebook Live Joy-Filled ❤️ Relationships Group Coaching Event that will kick off (ETA September 2023). I am super excited to offer this free monthly event to all Christian Women in the Facebook Group, "Joy-Filled Relationships aka Boundaries".
Additionally, this event will coincide with the Launch of my Coaching Business. You can stay up-to-date by checking my website (currently being built) JoyFilledRelationships.com.
Other things in the works, are my online coaching program, including live weekly coaching, online courses, and my Joy-Filled ❤️ Relationships Podcast. There is lots happening in my world and I would greatly appreciate your prayers for God's continued guidance as well as for the hearts and minds of women who are and have been praying for answers and guidance in these types of relationship challenges.
Please feel free to reach out to me by clicking on the ‘Contact Me’ tab on my site with any questions you may have. I will be offering a *30-minute consult to any Christian women who are interested in learning more, beginning August 1, 2023.
Please feel free to share!
Until next time… -Sheri xo
*A link will be on this site once we open the door for consults.
Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*
*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ!
Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!
