Have You Ever Felt Robbed by the Thief of Life ... Busyness?

Life balance is often misunderstood. Many people think it simply means that we just need to juggle our plates and successfully keep them all up in the air. 

This would perhaps be in a perfect world. 

But balance doesn’t mean perfection. 

Balance is more about level — in accounting, things must add up. In physics, what goes up, must come down. 

In life, we don’t want to live like a gazelle being chased by a cheetah all the time — we’d be in a code red, high adrenaline, super stress world. Possibly a heart attack or stroke waiting for a place to happen.

Balance is more about a calm and stable default setting that allows us to make decisions based on personal values. 

This level of calm assists us in being assertive and confident in setting healthy limits (personal boundaries) in life and work situations. 

Which, in turn allows us to enjoy our time for rest and relaxation. 

It also aids us in not constantly carrying around mental homework in an effort to to work out all the unknowns in our world.

Balance means that we are more likely to be intentional in the moment ~ and possibly more aware of the moments that take our breath away. 

As opposed to running around wondering if all the work and worry is reducing the number of breaths we have left to take.

As we struggle with these kinds of issues, it often helps reveal to us what we truly want and need when we are seeking “life balance”. 

It is the calmness and security of being able to manage the things we treasure, i.e. our feelings, thoughts, talents, attitudes, behavior, personal well-being, etc. so in effect, we are able to pro-actively confront our issues in life without a perpetual feeling of being overwhelmed.

For me, it’s about owning my life and choosing who and what to allow into it. This has made what is most important in my life — my relationships — more peaceful, loving and respectful. 

I don’t want to stress over things I’m unable to change. I need the energy for the times when I do have stress … or, for the adventure I want to jump into with both feet!

One thing I know I cannot change is others' and how they do life.

And how do I want my life to be different today and everyday? 

I want to intentionally make an effort to live, eat, write, think, work, and focus from a mindset that I personally choose. Not one that I land in every time the unexpected happens. 

It means I have to consciously rework my default settings. And to avoid the negative patterns that reoccur when I am not doing life based on what I value most.

My desire is to have a default setting that is a calm, safe and secure in the knowledge that God will always provide the strength I need day-by-day to manage the life He has given to me. 

When my adrenaline rushes (the extreme) come in, I want to be aware when I am tempted to allow more in my life that I am able to manage. 

God will always provide the time, resources, support and accountability for all He has for me.  

My job is to routinely take the initiative to renew my mind with His truth and love, being strengthened by the relationships I have with those that support and encourage me, as well as the ones that have permission to hold me accountable to do what I say and finish what I start.

My life keeps getting better. Not because of more money or more stuff – but mostly because of more awareness around the true balance I have tapped into by learning that every day holds challenges and successes ~ and that truly what I look for is what I will find, be it bad or good. 

As for me, I want to make the choice each day to live with the mantra, that indeed, 'Life is Good'. 

After all, I’ve got the tee shirt; that should prove it! 

At times, I can laugh at how busy I used to be. I was serious about my ability to be polished in every area. I could be an excellent wife, be a good mom to my three girls, manage my home, organize finances, volunteer when anyone asked, cook, clean etc. 

I could do it all, and then some. At least that is what I would tell myself.

I thought that was the path to peace. All I needed to do was keep all those plates in the air.

Everyone was doing it all, so I wanted to look as good as everyone else. 

As a young stay-at-home mom, I had an extra drive to prove myself because, 'they' were watching to see if I could accomplish this feat. (I still ask myself, "Who are 'They?'") 

I was convinced that more was required. Meals had to be from scratch. I had to use cloth diapers. No shortcuts! 

I didn’t want to do it all. Doing it all made me exhausted. Doing it all cost me relationships with those that mattered most to me. 

It was great. Until it wasn't. Until I realized it was not true at all.


Until I purposefully left the life of chronic busyness, I couldn’t see how futile it really was.

Doing it all caused me stress, loss of sleep and anger when my world was out of my control. 

My busyness was less productive and more chaotic that I would ever admit to.

After all of the disappointment and a few good doses of reality, I made the decision that a overly busy life wasn’t a life for me. 

Being a good person, loving wife, mother and friend…that was the life I wanted. 

Next to that, I wanted the freedom to do things that I was passionate about instead of things that weighed heavy on me because they mostly felt like obligations. Certainly not something I could be cheerful about.

Becoming less busy is not an accident, but a decision we need to make intentionally. 

My epiphany came when I realized that busyness did not necessarily equate to fruitfulness.

The snare of busyness is that sometimes you can be so busy, you don’t recognize you might be in trouble. 

You can become so overwhelmed that you can’t figure out how to change. 

You can get so used to being busy that you create more work to organize your life so you can be even busier with the hopes of accomplishing more. 

And, for what? I was miserable and yet trying to create more misery. A catch-22.

You may be caught up in the busyness trap, if…

* You respond to “how are you?” with “crazy busy” or “busy but good”

* You spend time worrying about how busy you are going to be tomorrow

* You get angry when your spouse or others who aren’t as busy as you

* You are up at night thinking about everything you didn’t get done

* You let people know how late you stay at work or how much you get done

* You zone out during conversations thinking about all you have to do

* You volunteer for things you don’t care about

* You spend time complaining about how overwhelmed you feel

* You make list after list to make sure you don’t forget anything

* You regularly eat in your car or on the go

* You use your phone in the car because “it’s the only time you have to talk”

If you are anything like I was, you may be busy because you simply don’t know how to be un-busy. 

You may be busy out of misdirected guilt because you think if you do enough, you will be enough. 

When you decide that it is acceptable to live life your way, you can stop being busy and start doing things that matter. 

You can talk about your meaningful day instead of ranting about your busy schedule. 

Decide today that you are enough, even if you never do anything, accomplish anything or produce anything ever again. 

You are enough.

How to be less busy...

* Be unproductive on purpose

* Limit the times you check email each day

* Delete and toss email that you don’t need to read

* Set your phone to silent and turn your computer off when you aren’t working

* Turn everything off in the car (except the car)

* Put your iPad down

* When you help someone, let it be from love, not obligation

* Do less, be more

* Stop trying to keep up, measure up or catch up

While you may think that you are making sacrifices for others by being busy, you are likely sacrificing the same relationships you think you are saving. 

Get real and consider what is most important to you. Then do that first. The rest will wait.

Practice guarding your life from the thief of busyness…

Until next time....

-Sheri xo

***If over-commitment is an ongoing concern in your life, consider establishing some healthy personal boundaries for yourself. The only thing you have to lose is a default setting that really may not be serving you well.

**If you'd like to see if Boundaries Coaching could help you navigate these challenges, I invite you to consider booking a complimentary 30-minute coaching call with me to gain some insights... Reach out to me: https://joyfilledrelationships.com/blog#contact and I'll provide a link to a complimentary call.


Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*

*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ! 

Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!

I'd love for you to join my online community for Christian Women on Mighty Networks! It's free, it's a safe place where you can connect, share, be encouraged and learn to grow a deeper faith walk with the Lord! Here's the link; I hope to see you on the inside: https://joy-filled-relationships.mn.co/share/S_dOjQT7-iqLg9B1?utm_source=manual 

I'd like to invite you to Join me on a 5-day Journey to do a deeper dive into discovering how you can find and maintain more joy-filled relationships... Sign up for Free here: https://joyfilledrelationships.com/landing/five-days

My  Online Group Coaching Program has begun -- https://joyfilledrelationships.com/application. Consider signing up now (during the developmental stage) to receive huge discounts and Lifetime Access for as long as the program is offered! You'll never get a better opportunity or price!

Have You Discovered How to Be Empowered by Solitude?

As we celebrate the resurrection of Christ this Easter, I'd like to suggest a very important practice that our Savior routinely observed….Solitude. 

Consider the benefit of solitude… In our fast-paced, high performing lifestyles, it is often very hard to find a time for solitude, and most of us try to avoid it anyway.

Why do we attempt to avoid it? I believe people may think of solitude as “loneliness” But they are two very different mindsets.

Loneliness brings to mind times when we have been down or have felt overlooked, unloved or rejected. Not so with solitude.

Solitude is a purposeful choice that we make to come apart, if you will, before we “come a-part”. 

It is a place where we recognize that we need to take a breather, to get a second wind in facing our lives and circumstances.

Isaiah, a major prophet in the Old Testament reported that …”in quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” [Isaiah 30:15b] 

Solitude can be a divine appointment with ourselves in the presence of God only. It can be a place where we can determine our purpose for the here and now.

Be warned that there are many distractions that seek to monopolize our time and to prevent us from this wonderful opportunity for renewal that we find in separating ourselves to gain perspective.

Our dealings with difficult situations [or people] can best be put in proper perspective when we move away from the circumstance or person and evaluate the true issues of conflict or division, something that is rarely accomplished in a head-to-head debate.

Nothing good comes without cost, and solitude is no exception. The cost is that of separation and commitment to the effort of trading off some “good” plans or events for some that would be more aligned with  our “best” interests.

To attain the best from our times of solitude, we need to make it a priority. It is important that we learn to take care of ourselves, in order that we are best prepared to handle the other “important” issues of our lives. It is okay to prepare and equip yourself for difficult or stressful times.

A major benefit of solitude, when practiced on a regular basis, is good health [it’s fat free as well]. It de-stresses and energizes us when we make it a habit. 

We can experience better productivity in our work and projects and often, receive clarity, because our mind is cleared, concerning a problem that we have been perplexed by or perhaps just haven’t had the time to deal with appropriately.

Solitude helps repair the “noise” that we endure in so much of our waking lives. It brings a quietness and a calmness that will be a comfort to us as well as to others. 

Overall, solitude brings us to a place of peace and communion with our Creator, and can restore our hope to press on through rough times.

Do not underestimate the empowering characteristics of solitude. 

One final benefit, you will be in good company!

Until next time….

-Sheri xo


Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*

*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ! 

Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!

I'd love for you to join my online community for Christian Women on Mighty Networks! It's free, it's a safe place where you can connect, share, be encouraged and learn to grow a deeper faith walk with the Lord! Here's the link; I hope to see you on the inside: https://joy-filled-relationships.mn.co/share/S_dOjQT7-iqLg9B1?utm_source=manual 

I'd like to invite you to Join me on a 5-day Journey to do a deeper dive into discovering how you can find and maintain more joy-filled relationships... Sign up for Free here: https://joyfilledrelationships.com/landing/five-days

My  Online Group Coaching Program has begun -- https://joyfilledrelationships.com/application. Consider signing up now (during the developmental stage) to receive huge discounts and Lifetime Access for as long as the program is offered! You'll never get a better opportunity or price!

What Would a Vacation-Mindset Look Like as a LifeStyle?

Consider the mindset that you enjoy on vacation. You are free to set your own schedule, not worrying about what you have to do today, not worrying about the time — just being — minus the anxiety. 

Now imagine the mindset of being busy at work or in any of your important endeavors: doing one task while being anxious about many others, worrying that you may not be doing the right task, interrupted by others, distracted and stressed.

These are two different mindsets, and yet, what if we could enjoy the vacation mind while working? 

Well, we would need to forego the lazing around, but the mindset could be the same. This has the potential to result in a more sane lifestyle, not just living for the weekend or the little vacation time we have, but the ability to navigate life so that we are truly happier every day.

How can this be done? We would need to practice and develop a few small habits, that will make more sense as we go along.

WHAT WOULD THE VACATION MIND LOOK LIKE AT WORK?

Often just thinking about work tasks can alter our mindset from relaxation to anxiety: worry for what we need to do, deadlines, dealing with difficult people, information overload, being on the right task, even concerns as to whether we may be missing out on something important. A life, perhaps :-)

A vacation mindset lets the anxiety go and is simply present in the current moment. Time is less important, enjoying yourself is the priority. You let go of the anxiety. You aren’t worried about getting it all done, or doing the right thing right now, or all the things you have to do later. 

You are immersed in the task you are working on and are able to set a pace of doing it so that you can enjoy the present moment.

So how would this look? You choose to work on a particular task, perhaps writing something. You, obviously, have quite a list of things to do but this is the thing you decide to work on at the moment. 

Could there be other things you should be doing instead? Of course, there always are and will continue to be. Imagine for a moment how efficient you can become if what you are doing and what you are focused on are actually one and the same. 

I would venture to say that several things could happen. 

You might find that you actually enjoy what you are doing when you aren't constantly having to pull your focus back from what you are concerned about.... or maybe because you don't want to do the hard work of focusing on the task at hand, your mind wanders (and takes your fingers on the keyboard with it), to shop or research online. 

This is where it is easier to lose focus and get even more behind in the project that we are working on.

As for the best thing to do right now, the moment of perfect certainty never comes, so just pick something and do it in a manner that affords you time to be intentional, consistent, and to apply your level of expertise and experience. No short cuts. Be ready to sign your name to the final draft. 

If you want to touch on a healthy dose of self-esteem, this is the thing that gets you there. There is no amount of framed or engraved awards that will ever bring the self-satisfaction of that of a job we've done so well that we are excited to see it again and again, revisit the effort and enjoyment as well as share the finished product.

By practicing being able to enjoy the task at hand we are able to be more present, which is must less exhausting than attempting to juggle too many plates. 

Let other tasks take their rightful place, the time to do them will come. Immerse yourself in the current task. Focus on enjoying yourself as you do it. 

At times, you may mentally step back, come up for air and take a look at the bigger picture, and then return back to the project. This is what I like to call “laser-focus”.

And you can do this when you talk with a co-worker or client. You can do this with an important email, or processing paperwork, small tasks, designing something, programming, creating art, helping a patient or student. This is a learned strategy. It is a discipline that is easily doable.

However, we can’t just flip a switch and be good at these things today … they do take practice, like any other skill, but in the long run, I can say that they’re worth practicing, even if you never master them, because they can transform your relationship with work and any important endeavor that you undertake.

Here are some helpful practices that you can consider working on a little every day:        

-Pick something, get immersed in the act of being creative. Focus on the enjoyment of creating something that is uniquely your idea. Being able to work from this relaxing mindset affords you the time to think with a higher level of energy. This will play out in everything you endeavor to do.

-Let go of anxieties. This takes practice. Learn to recognize when you begin to feel anxious and notice the source of the anxiety. This is typically focusing on an outcome you want to happen, such as, looking good in front of others, being highly productive, controlling a situation, etc. Realize the desired outcome is merely a fantasy, and other outcomes can work out just as well. Realize that holding on to this fantasy of how it should turn out causes stress. Let go and restore your creative energy mindset.

-Come up for air and see the big picture. Diving in is goal, and, it is also helpful to step back at times, and assess what is going on around you. Notice people who are nearby and if anyone needs your attention, how you’re sitting (and whether you’re sitting too long), etc. Is there an appointment you should get to? See the big picture, then go back into immersion.

-Be less worried about time. Time is important but we can be mindful of it while not being “lorded over” by it. It matters that we show up on time for appointments we have, paying attention to completion deadlines, billing clients etc. There are times when we can waste time worrying about the time we need to do or not be doing something. Practice a balance of being aware of when time matters and when there can be some leeway.    

You may be considering if this is truly doable. The answer depends on you. You’ll be surprised what you can do — if you have the “want to”. 

At the end of the day, you'll feel more energetic over the good things you've accomplished. This will help you to be less stressed, treat yourself (and others) better and ultimately, to create a life you don't need to escape from. 

There are so many ways we can let our 'have-to-do' items (we have to work to make a living) spill all over our 'would-like-to-do' items. 

When we aren't fully focused on what we're doing, we can spend an inordinate amount of time worrying and stressing over what we could've-should've done differently. 

We can pretty much eliminate this drama by simply practicing doing our tasks (if we have a career, our own business, or are retired and have personal projects) in a manner that allows us to be vacationally-minded. 

When I think about the truth behind taking a calmer pace, besides the tortoise and the hare, I am reminded of a story my mother shared with me years ago when I first began driving.

My mother had a lead foot... and she treated it like a badge. LOL. However, when I started driving, she had some teachable moments to share. 

She told me about driving home to our hometown, Pembroke, Georgia, every weekend when she was working 2 hours away. Numerous times she had gotten warnings after being pulled over by a police officer, and occasionally, a speeding ticket. 

After one particular time when she received a ticket, she brought up to her supervisor how frustrating her drive was: there was no interstate (at the time), all the small towns with their speed limit signs and the endless redlights. 

He nodded in a kind and knowing manner and mentioned that in a situation such as she had described that passing everyone and being in a constant hurry really was a waste of time and stress. He told her to pay attention on her next drive to all the cars she passed. He said she may be surprised to find that at the traffic lights when she had to stop, she would likely see a number of the same cars she had passed, lined up right behind her. She accepted the challenge and noted that he was absolutely correct! 

I still exercise this practice today because I love taking a back road. You can't miss me when I do, I'm the car you'll pass and who will leisurely pull up behind you at the next traffic light. So when you look back in your rearview mirror, just throw up your hand and remember I'm smiling right back at you.... with a little less stress :-)

Until next time.... 

-Sheri xo

Sheri Geyer is a Relationship Coach for Christian Women*

*And women seeking to learn more about a relationship with Jesus Christ! 

Are YOU Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries and create Joy-Filled ❤️Relationships? If so, we need to talk!

I'd love for you to join my online community for Christian Women on Mighty Networks! It's free, it's a safe place where you can connect, share, be encouraged and learn to grow a deeper faith walk with the Lord! Here's the link; I hope to see you on the inside: https://joy-filled-relationships.mn.co/share/S_dOjQT7-iqLg9B1?utm_source=manual 

I'd like to invite you to Join me on a 5-day Journey to do a deeper dive into discovering how you can find and maintain more joy-filled relationships... Sign up for Free here: https://joyfilledrelationships.com/landing/five-days

My  Online Group Coaching Program has begun -- https://joyfilledrelationships.com/application. Consider signing up now (during the developmental stage) to receive huge discounts and Lifetime Access for as long as the program is offered! You'll never get a better opportunity or price!

Have You Ever Felt Snared in the Trap of Busyness?

If you are anything like I was, you are busy because you want to be or because you don’t know how to be un-busy. You are busy out of misdirected guilt because you think if you do enough, you will be enough. When you decide that it is acceptable to create a life-by-design, you can eliminate the thief that busyness can become, and start doing things that matter. You can talk about your meaningful day instead of ranting about your busy schedule. Decide today that you are enough, even if you never accomplish another thing that causes heads to turn. You are still enough!
Read more...
#Life-by-Design, #Unbusy #BusynessThiefofLife