Blog Category: Life Mapping

It may appear that fairness has become one of the gold-standards of American culture. Everyone is equal. For anyone to receive any kind of preference is perceived to be discriminating against them and has the potential to bring a lawsuit. In many ways, this can be perceived as good and entirely appropriate for any free society.

While it may appear so, fairness does not mean that every person gets the same thing. The true meaning of fairness is that 'we get what we deserve'. 

When we think of what it means to be fair, we can compare it to two separate mindsets: 

*A person holding a negative view of themselves or the world, may believe there is no escape for them to think, feel or believe any other way, except that they are not 'good'. 

*Another person who may typically see the more positive side of things, may have the expectation that since they’ve never been arrested they are truly good in the eyes of God.

Love isn't necessarily fair. Love prefers the beloved one over and above all others. I may believe that my kids are cuter than your kids, and you probably disagree because you believe your kids are cuter than mine. Love does this to and for us. It’s not fair, but it’s good.

God is love. But is God, fair? 

He is perfect. He is right. He is good. He is just. 

But, God is NOT fair! Okay, now I've lost about two-thirds of you, who are likely thinking, 'Wait! Is she honestly saying that God. Is. Not. Fair?? 

Yes, I am saying that... bear with me a moment.... think about it this way: If we could be perfect as Jesus Christ is, we would be able to stand in God's sight. It is our sin that separates us from God, not who we are, who our parents are, where we work or how much money we make, the size of our house, yada yada yada. 

Because we live in a fallen world, where prior to the fall, God looked on all that He had made and He said, "Behold, it is very good!" 

Enter, our humanness through Adam and Eve. They get an up close glimpse of a very appealing shiny piece of fruit and made the choice to do life on their terms and follow a worthless pursuit of trying to be as "God is" based on a lie from a snake! Yuck!! Who listens to a snake?? (Hmmm, I am pretty sure, I would have elected to chase the stupid shiny object as well?... I mean 'pleasing to the eye' does sound pretty fabulous, right??)

So, God says, "Great, now look what you've done. What am I going to do with You??" (Okay, this is The Sheri Paraphrase... LOL). So, he decides on a plan for our redemption and spends 2000 years perfecting it. Boy, we do have our issues.... just saying.

So God is not fair, because if He were, Jesus would never have come to earth, gone through all that He faced, cried out in a Garden that God might free Him from the step He knew He was going to need to take. He would not have had to face betrayal by someone who had walked with Him as a Friend. He would not have spent hours in torture and interrogation, only to be mocked, spit upon, ridiculed, and persecuted beyond recognition. And then, for six hours one Friday, hang on a cross made from a tree He created. He did it all for me... yep, for my sins. 

He did it...Just for me... and for You too:

For me to be free to have a rotten attitude when things don't go my way; 

For me to be free to call His name out loud when life hurts; 

For me to shake my fist at Him for all I've been through and how unfair it all is;

And, for three days from now on Easter Sunday, for me to walk beside you and proclaim: 

"Hallelujah, He is Risen!!" So you could reply in turn, "He is Risen, Indeed!!" 

Oh, what a Savior.... Thank You, Jesus!!

Okay, back to my story... 

But God is just. His judgments are right and good and true. 

A God whose primary description is “fair” would be devoid of grace or mercy or compassion. Instead, the guilty would immediately receive the punishment for their sin. This equates to what is commonly known as 'karma', where you receive what you’ve earned. Every action is weighed on a scale, and you work your hardest to have the good outweigh the bad.

Those who desire a fair God also have a very low view of sin’s seriousness. Sure, God may not like sin, but surely I won't be condemned by my sin unless it’s really serious, right?

But that’s just not what the Bible teaches about sin. Read the Sermon on the Mount and see how serious Jesus treats sin.

Even if God was fair and He would actually weigh the scales, and even if your scales had more good than bad… what would a fair God do with sin? We would certainly, at least I would be, found wanting!

A good judge makes right judgments. He does not condemn the innocent. Nor does he free the guilty.

God is just (because He does not overlook sin), but He is not fair. 

It simply is not fair that Jesus Christ suffered on Calvary's Cross in my place and for my sin!

It is not fair that He endured the rejection and wrath that should have been mine. 

It is not fair that I received the Grace of God, while He received the most bitterest of cups, for me. In my place. 

God is not fair, He transferred the guilt of all humanity on the innocent shoulders of Jesus. But He is just, because the punishment was given out and paid for. 

If God was fair, we would all receive what we’ve earned… death.

“The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may freely eat; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for on the day that you eat from it you will certainly die.” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭16‬-‭17‬

“Indeed, there is not a righteous person on earth who always does good and does not ever sin.” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭7‬:‭20‬ 

“They have all turned aside; together they are corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.” Psalm 14:3

“For the wages of sin is death…” Romans 6:23

“For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it.” James 2:10

I just have to say here.... If God sees all of this about us and He still makes a way of redemption for us... who are we to look on another and, blame, judge or condemn them? They will KNOW we are His (Followers of Jesus aka Christians) by our LOVE! 

Okay, I'm getting back to my story.... Imagine a fair God, who gave to everyone what they deserved. We’d all receive the judgment we deserve! We’d all be condemned to hell.

Thanks be to God for His love and grace and mercy, which turned His justice against Himself, Jesus Christ being fully God and fully man, so that sinners could be reconciled with God. 

Hallelujah, what a gift!!!!! Receive it...even though you or I can't earn it... We can receive it!! 

“And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” 

Luke 23:34

“… God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their wrongdoings against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.” 2 Corinthians 5:19

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9 

The message of the gospel is this: We are saved by faith alone in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We plead for God’s grace, not for fairness. 

Salvation comes through the work of Christ. It is a gift, not a paycheck. It is unfair, because it’s pure grace.

Let us give praise and thanks to God that He is not fair!

When we were in school, we got the lesson and then the test. It is not always the same out here in real life. It's more like, we get the test and then the lesson.

Do you ever struggle to make the decision to let go of the past? If it wasn’t such a great thing ~ why continue to visit or, worse, camp out there? If something triggers a past hurt and it feels "bad" recognize that there are wounds that may cause you to walk with an emotional limp for a season, but the effect of the experience can change if you choose to allow it.  Truly when we can look back and laugh at our experiences, they have become our education.

The only way we can overcome our fear of being hurt again, is to recognize these fears are attached to us only as much as we are anchored to our past. We can face tomorrow because the ONE who led through the darkness is still here holding our hand every time the memory arises.  So, just like someone learning to walk again after a terrible accident, choose to simply get up, show up and do the best you can with what lies before you.

Once you allow the shackles that have anchored you to the past to fall off, they will no longer define you. We can grow stronger and better because of the things we’ve experienced and the lessons we’ve taken away.  At the end of the day, we may have a few scars, but all the wounds will heal.  Refuse to allow challenges to become excuses. Cease trying to control what you are unable to change and eliminate the excuses that prevent you from changing the things you can!

Embrace the Past, Then Release. The decision to cut anchors continually gives strength, confidence and drive to live life free and to the fullest.   This will probably be the best thing you ever do for yourself. It won’t bring national acclaim.  Someone looking may not be able to see it. But in the area of weight loss, internally, you’ll drop about a million pounds.

Being bound to the past with anchors from old hurts causes us to feel like we live in a minefield.   If a certain incident happens, it can trigger pain as real and as overwhelming as when the wound was brand new.  We feel powerless to be free.  It can result in our feeling controlled by others who have hurt us.  It weakens the resolve to live life above average.

To fully live out the peace and joy of life, we need to discover the ability to wake up and live and love like the experiences never happened. Yes! It is possible. We need the season of wandering in the desert in life to truly find the direction we needed to be headed in. The decision is simple. The difficulty is in waiting with little or no understanding for life experiences to bring us to a place where we “want to be free.”  We have to learn to let others ‘off the hook’ for hurting us.  We have to confront our own hearts and realize that we have hurt and wounded others, often unintentionally.  I have come to believe that most people have a good reason for doing what they do – even if I don’t understand their reasoning.

Refusing to let go or confront issues may result in bitterness and resentment. Bitterness is the awful bite of resentment that causes the soul of the person in which it resides to swell up in pain. Not properly dealt with, it can spread throughout the emotional system of the person and begin to harden their heart.  Bitterness is transmitted from person to person in the recounting -- retelling or rehearsing -- of an unpleasant experience, whether real or imagined.

In allowing this bitterness, we can push away the ones we want and need in our lives. We need people who are safe and responsible in our lives. They help us to grow and to gain value from things we need to face and deal with. Our life choices are the best gauge for whether or not we live joyful, enthusiastic and confident versus sad, depressed and anxious. We can be empowered to do life by design, as opposed to 'by default' and truly have a life of significance and purpose.

This happens best in a climate of being thankful to God even in circumstances we don’t understand, for teaching us that He always cares for us and we can depend on Him. Once we master these things, we will never again be shaken beyond what we recognize as something that He is working for good in our lives.

To gain this incredible breakthrough in life, make it a habit to spend quiet time daily in His presence through reading the Bible, an encouraging book or devotional, prayer, journaling or simply relaxing in a comfy place with a cup of coffee or tea.  It is the familiarity in life that brings comfort. Regular routine, special memories, good friends, favorite songs etc.  become our daily therapy to get re-focused during times we are tempted to cave in under stress.

In this time, I have found God to be the greatest counselor, coach, and therapist available at no charge to me.  The cost has been full surrender of my agenda.  The benefits have been a sense of purpose, fulfillment and confidence that each day, each decision, each encounter can bring meaning, vision and sustained change and healing to my life.

~ Sheri xo

 

I’ve been writing about the value of simplicity for nearly 20 years.... and if you asked, I'd have to say that Minimalism is best described as pursuing the Right Things so that we are able to Focus More on the things we Enjoy Most!

Simply put, it is the identification, and then the continual choice, of living (doing, buying, seeking) ONLY what is essential. Quite similar to a life of simplicity, Minimalism elaborates on the saying, “less is more” to make it a declaration that “less is better.”

After a major life change in 2002, and armed with a belief that God has and always will have a plan for me that is better than I could ever design for myself, I set out to learn what was most important, most enjoyable, and most aligned with His best for me. My goal was to best utilize what He had taught me in my life up to that point.

I have been given the privilege and responsibility to prioritize my life! If I avoid doing it, someone else may step in and take on that role in a way that serves their needs best.  Taking the time to prioritize our life and choices eliminates our being tied and / or obligated to others expectations.

I often ask myself, when I am at work or play, “Is this the most important thing I should be doing with my time and resources right now?” It helps me to zero in on what is most important in the moment. If it isn’t important to me at the present time, I simply choose to redirect my focus to what matters and what will have the most impact on the purpose I am seeking to achieve.

I want to live a life by design, not default. I will do this effectively by learning to master my response to situations and be able to turn things around, as opposed to living like the bow tied on a kite string based on what is happening to me at any given moment.

I don't need to have it all and I don't want to do it all. It is imperative for me to first clarify and then be willing to make the necessary trade-offs in order to pursue what is most important to me. One of the things I remind myself when I am struggling to stick with my plan is this: "I choose to NOT trade off what I want MOST for what I want right NOW!"

I have learned that I do not need to be 'plugged into' all that is happening either virtually or globally all of the time. Rather, I have discovered that the most important thing for me to focus on is what’s front and center of my actual world at the present time. I continually find that focusing on the few essential ideas right in front of me is typically more rewarding, and offers greater potential, than the many that may be trying to distract me.

The best thing I've learned is when to say no to the nonessentials so I can say yes to the things that really matter. I find it easier not to commit if I'm not certain that I can give 100%. This requires me to have the courage to say no firmly, resolutely and gracefully so that I can say “yes” to those things that I truly value and where I know I can purposefully make a difference.