Blog Category: Healthy Boundaries

Life balance is often misunderstood. Many people think it simply means that we just need to juggle our plates and successfully keep them all up in the air. 

This would perhaps be in a perfect world. 

But balance doesn’t mean perfection. 

Balance is more about level — in accounting, things must add up. In physics, what goes up, must come down. 

In life, we don’t want to live like a gazelle being chased by a cheetah all the time — we’d be in a code red, high adrenaline, super stress world. Possibly a heart attack or stroke waiting for a place to happen.

Balance is more about a calm and stable default setting that allows us to make decisions based on personal values. 

This level of calm assists us in being assertive and confident in setting healthy limits (personal boundaries) in life and work situations. 

Which, in turn allows us to enjoy our time for rest and relaxation. 

It also aids us in not constantly carrying around mental homework in an effort to to work out all the unknowns in our world.

Balance means that we are more likely to be intentional in the moment ~ and possibly more aware of the moments that take our breath away. 

As opposed to running around wondering if all the work and worry is reducing the number of breaths we have left to take.

As we struggle with these kinds of issues, it often helps reveal to us what we truly want and need when we are seeking “life balance”. 

It is the calmness and security of being able to manage the things we treasure, i.e. our feelings, thoughts, talents, attitudes, behavior, personal well-being, etc. so in effect, we are able to pro-actively confront our issues in life without a perpetual feeling of being overwhelmed.

For me, it’s about owning my life and choosing who and what to allow into it. This has made what is most important in my life — my relationships — more peaceful, loving and respectful. 

I don’t want to stress over things I’m unable to change. I need the energy for the times when I do have stress … or, for the adventure I want to jump into with both feet!

One thing I know I cannot change is others' and how they do life.

And how do I want my life to be different today and everyday? 

I want to intentionally make an effort to live, eat, write, think, work, and focus from a mindset that I personally choose. Not one that I land in every time the unexpected happens. 

It means I have to consciously rework my default settings. And to avoid the negative patterns that reoccur when I am not doing life based on what I value most.

My desire is to have a default setting that is a calm, safe and secure in the knowledge that God will always provide the strength I need day-by-day to manage the life He has given to me. 

When my adrenaline rushes (the extreme) come in, I want to be aware when I am tempted to allow more in my life that I am able to manage. 

God will always provide the time, resources, support and accountability for all He has for me.  

My job is to routinely take the initiative to renew my mind with His truth and love, being strengthened by the relationships I have with those that support and encourage me, as well as the ones that have permission to hold me accountable to do what I say and finish what I start.

My life keeps getting better. Not because of more money or more stuff – but mostly because of more awareness around the true balance I have tapped into by learning that every day holds challenges and successes ~ and that truly what I look for is what I will find, be it bad or good. 

As for me, I want to make the choice each day to live with the mantra, that indeed, 'Life is Good'. 

After all, I’ve got the tee shirt; that should prove it! 

At times, I can laugh at how busy I used to be. I was serious about my ability to be polished in every area. I could be an excellent wife, be a good mom to my three girls, manage my home, organize finances, volunteer when anyone asked, cook, clean etc. 

I could do it all, and then some. At least that is what I would tell myself.

I thought that was the path to peace. All I needed to do was keep all those plates in the air.

Everyone was doing it all, so I wanted to look as good as everyone else. 

As a young stay-at-home mom, I had an extra drive to prove myself because, 'they' were watching to see if I could accomplish this feat. (I still ask myself, "Who are 'They?'") 

I was convinced that more was required. Meals had to be from scratch. I had to use cloth diapers. No shortcuts! 

I didn’t want to do it all. Doing it all made me exhausted. Doing it all cost me relationships with those that mattered most to me. 

It was great. Until it wasn't. Until I realized it was not true at all.


Until I purposefully left the life of chronic busyness, I couldn’t see how futile it really was.

Doing it all caused me stress, loss of sleep and anger when my world was out of my control. 

My busyness was less productive and more chaotic that I would ever admit to.

After all of the disappointment and a few good doses of reality, I made the decision that a overly busy life wasn’t a life for me. 

Being a good person, loving wife, mother and friend…that was the life I wanted. 

Next to that, I wanted the freedom to do things that I was passionate about instead of things that weighed heavy on me because they mostly felt like obligations. Certainly not something I could be cheerful about.

Becoming less busy is not an accident, but a decision we need to make intentionally. 

My epiphany came when I realized that busyness did not necessarily equate to fruitfulness.

The snare of busyness is that sometimes you can be so busy, you don’t recognize you might be in trouble. 

You can become so overwhelmed that you can’t figure out how to change. 

You can get so used to being busy that you create more work to organize your life so you can be even busier with the hopes of accomplishing more. 

And, for what? I was miserable and yet trying to create more misery. A catch-22.

* You respond to “how are you?” with “crazy busy” or “busy but good”

* You spend time worrying about how busy you are going to be tomorrow

* You get angry when your spouse or others who aren’t as busy as you

* You are up at night thinking about everything you didn’t get done

* You let people know how late you stay at work or how much you get done

* You zone out during conversations thinking about all you have to do

* You volunteer for things you don’t care about

* You spend time complaining about how overwhelmed you feel

* You make list after list to make sure you don’t forget anything

* You regularly eat in your car or on the go

* You use your phone in the car because “it’s the only time you have to talk”

If you are anything like I was, you may be busy because you simply don’t know how to be un-busy. 

You may be busy out of misdirected guilt because you think if you do enough, you will be enough. 

When you decide that it is acceptable to live life your way, you can stop being busy and start doing things that matter. 

You can talk about your meaningful day instead of ranting about your busy schedule. 

Decide today that you are enough, even if you never do anything, accomplish anything or produce anything ever again. 

You are enough.

* Be unproductive on purpose

* Limit the times you check email each day

* Delete and toss email that you don’t need to read

* Set your phone to silent and turn your computer off when you aren’t working

* Turn everything off in the car (except the car)

* Put your iPad down

* When you help someone, let it be from love, not obligation

* Do less, be more

* Stop trying to keep up, measure up or catch up

While you may think that you are making sacrifices for others by being busy, you are likely sacrificing the same relationships you think you are saving. 

Get real and consider what is most important to you. Then do that first. The rest will wait.

Practice guarding your life from the thief of busyness…

Until next time....

-Sheri xo

***If over-commitment is an ongoing concern in your life, consider establishing some healthy personal boundaries for yourself. The only thing you have to lose is a default setting that really may not be serving you well.

**If you'd like to see if Boundaries Coaching could help you navigate these challenges, I invite you to consider booking a complimentary 30-minute coaching call with me to gain some insights... Reach out to me: https://joyfilledrelationships.com/blog#contact and I'll provide a link to a complimentary call.

In the journey of life, one of the most painful experiences we may encounter is the estrangement from close relationships due to relational hurts or misunderstandings. This painful separation can leave us feeling lonely, confused, and questioning our faith. 

However, as Christians, we have a unique opportunity to embrace growth and spiritual maturity even in the midst of estrangement. 

These fiery furnaces in our lives have been allowed by God for purposes that most of us cannot possibly fathom. God develops our character and strengthens our faith as a result of the challenges we may face in our close personal relationships. 

He certainly understands what is means to have a wedge created in a close relationship.

These painful seasons are not something we would ever sign up for.... but, if God allows it, we can rest assured that there are some things we can learn from it, as we lean into God and trust Him. 

As we navigate through our challenging relationship seasons, we may be able to gain needed insight into important areas of spiritual growth. This understanding will likely come in the midst of our circumstances more so than in spite of them. 

In situations like this, it can be really easy to judge the other person and their motives. My grandmother would often comment on situations like this by saying, "Before you judge a person, make sure you have first walked a mile in their shoes". 

Very wise advice. I, for one, have had to learn this the hard way, at times. My hurt feelings can often cause me to lose sight of owning my part in the situation. I am thankful to know that God can still use my mess-ups to grow me up and to give me greater understanding. 

He has set a great model on offering grace, as well!

Developing the needed growth and maturity to work through our own personal emotions during these seasons will require us to be aware that God wants us to be willing to allow Him to do the needed work in our hearts, even as we are praying that He will work in the hearts of those we are missing and longing to reconnect with again, at some point. 

Waiting on God in the midst of painful situations in our close relationships is no different than having to work through any other areas of growth we will need to navigate these unchartered waters. 

Finding the support and encouragment we need throughout the process is critical for us to function in light of the loss or estrangement of significant relationshps.

God wastes nothing. Not even our most painful seasons. All that is happening in our lives is preparation for the work He wants to do in us so that He can, at some point, do a healing work through us to others who are in similar situations. 

Our struggles are temporary assignments that can shape our character more into the image of Christ. The choice is ours to either become better or bitter in the midst of them.

Let's explore how our faith can help us navigate this challenging season and find redemption through mature love and forgiveness:

1. We can Learn by Practice to Surrender to God's Plan:

Understanding that God's plan for our lives is greater than any human relationship, is the foundation on which we can start building our journey towards maturity. Accepting that our circumstances are part of His divine plan helps us surrender our pain and longing for reconciliation into His hands. Surrender can be so challenging because, in essence, we are giving up the 'perceived' control that we only 'thought' we had. When we relinquish control and trust God's timing, we can be assured that He will work all things together for our ultimate good. (Romans 8:28).

2. Seek Comfort through Scripture:

During times of estrangement, finding solace in God's Word becomes essential. A deep dive into Scripture helps to remind us of God's unchanging love and promises. Reflecting on passages such as Psalms, where many times David would cry out to God in anguish during troubled times, can bring us calm and comfort. Allowing God's truth to fill our hearts can bring healing and the patience we need to wait on Him and His timing. God can comfort our hearts and bring much needed peace even in the midst of our darkest days. And the beautiful thing is that He can use these difficulties to bring enlightenment to others as they observe how we are learning to cast all of our cares on the One who cares so deeply for us and for those we love.

3. Embrace Self-Reflection and Growth:

Estrangement gives us an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Take this time to evaluate your actions, emotions, and attitudes. Seek God's guidance to uncover any areas of your own life that may have contributed to the breakdown of the relationship. By using this opportunity to grow in grace, empathy, and humility, we can allow Christ to refine our character. I especially like the request made of the Lord in Psalm 139:23-24, "Search me, God, and know my heart; put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there is any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way".

4. Cultivate Forgiveness and Grace:

Forgiveness and grace are pillars of our Christian faith. As difficult as it may be, forgiveness releases the heavy burden of bitterness and resentment. Remember, forgiveness does not always equate to a quick reconciliation, but it frees us to love and heal from within. Forgiveness is the only path to true healing and freedom from the hurt. Choosing to extend grace, just as God extends His grace to us, allows us to release any expectations, judgments, or desire for vindication.

5. Surround Yourself with a Supportive Community:

In times of estrangement, it is crucial to surround ourselves with a supportive community of believers. Seek out like-minded individuals who can provide encouragement, prayer, and biblical guidance. Share your journey with trusted friends or join a support group where you can find understanding and solace in the shared experiences of others. 

While the pain of estrangement from close family relationships may feel insurmountable, as followers of Christ, we have the opportunity to journey toward maturity, redemption, and healing. Through surrender, seeking solace in Scripture, self-reflection, forgiveness, and building a supportive community, we can grow closer to God and emerge stronger. 

Remember, our ultimate goal is to reflect the love and character of Christ in all situations, trusting that God's plan is working for our good. Let us press on in faith, knowing that He will guide us every step of the way.

Until next time....

-Sheri xo

It would be a nice reminder to respond to the “facts” about our life situations if people asked us, “What is true about your life today?”, or “What is going on that you can impact to make a difference?” This, possibly, could become a trigger to think on what is true about our lives as opposed to what we “feel” is true about our lives.

We can easily become overly concerned about what we ‘think” someone else is ‘thinking’ regarding us. When, in actuality, we or our situation may be the furthest thing from their minds.  When I begin thinking along these lines, I often chuckle to remind myself that I am only ‘kind of a big deal’ in my own mind.

Picture a train, the engine is the power that drives it and the caboose (when used) served to house the crew responsible for track switching and acting as lookouts for load shifting or other concerns.  If we regard the TRUTH about our lives as the engine of the train that drives us, we can move along empowered by making decisions based on what we know to be right. 

If, on the other hand, we are led by our FEELINGS, it is as if we are letting the caboose engineer, (with a limited view), drive our life train and we become disempowered because we can be on a roller coaster driven by emotions and not truth. It is stressful and chaotic at best and ultimately results in, you guessed it, a train wreck!

Have you ever found yourself caught in the battle between facts and feelings? It's a tug-of-war that often leaves us wondering which should dictate our decisions and actions. 

Facts are like sturdy pillars that form the very foundation of truth. They are objective and universally accepted. Facts are based on evidence, research, and practical observations.

When we rely on facts, we make informed decisions grounded in logic and reason. They serve as our compass, assisting us in navigating challenging situations, problem-solving, and discovering new perspectives. 

On the other hand, feelings are subjective, personal, and intimately connected to our experiences. Our feelings are influenced by our values, beliefs, and unique life journeys, making them deeply personal and powerful. They bring color and light to our lives. 

Feelings provide us with clues about our emotional well-being, and help us understand and empathize with others' experiences. Feelings fuel our creativity, compassion, and the pursuit of happiness, creating beautiful connections in our relationships.

Neither facts nor feelings exist in isolation. In fact, they each bring unique wisdom and insights to the table. Recognizing the importance of both is the key to achieving harmony in our lives.

We can use facts to assess situations objectively, gather information, and make informed decisions. But we must also acknowledge our feelings, honoring our emotions and considering the impact they can have on our choices. By carefully integrating logic and empathy, we can make decisions that are both rational and compassionate.

Remember, embracing facts does not mean dismissing feelings, nor does honoring feelings entail disregarding facts. Rather, seeking a balance between the two can guide us towards making choices that are not only rational but also emotionally fulfilling.

Understanding the mindset of facts versus feelings requires us to be intentional in cultivating a belief system that is grounded in the truth about any given situation. This is the truth about what is and not what only may be or could be. It is recognizing the things we have the power to change as well as the ones we will need to learn to accept because we cannot change them.

One way I have found to help in a dilemma about facts versus feelings is to journal the questions, “What am I feeling about the current situation I am facing?” and then, “What is true about the current situation I am facing?” This can really prove to be a game-changer if you are prone to lean into your feelings, which may be assumptions about the way you believe that something is going to turn out.

Our feelings follow our actions, which allows us to be able to choose to do the next basic right thing, when we aren't certain what to do.. This choice will serve us well in developing a belief system that, “what is fact is true”, and “what is assumed, is yet to be determined”. 

Until next time.... 

-Sheri xo


Do you have a personal or professional relationship in which there always seems to be a level of tension present? Sometimes, the more contact we have with certain people, the more we become aware of a strain in the relationship.  Do you know what I’m talking about?  

How do you determine the shifts you experience in certain relationships? Perhaps, the connection, at one point, was mutually beneficial, but now many times you may feel taken advantage of, even exploited?   What’s the best way to handle such relationships?  

If you answered yes to any of these questions it could be an indication that some personal boundaries are in order to protect yourself by reducing the stress and working to improve the relationship?  What would this look like and how does one do it?  If you’re willing, I’d like to coach you through this a bit by sharing my perspective on boundaries. 

 

Any one or all of these may arise when we position ourselves at the center of others lives, and begin to take responsibility for others that is neither appropriate nor healthy.  When this happens, others may not be aware that we are feeling overwhelmed or taken advantage of in the relationship.  Prayerful consideration of a plan to engage them in a loving and honest conversation can be a good place to start.   This would provide an opportunity for mutual feelings and concerns to be shared in an effort to clear up confusion, and help to get the relationship back on an even keel.

However, it is often the case that boundary issues are generally more complicated.  My experience is that persons who regularly disregard others’ boundaries, often referred to as boundary busters, have a hard time hearing “NO”.  

This is very difficult for many of us who consider ourselves peacemakers and we may struggle with the idea that this seems like we would be acting selfishly.  We may find ourselves in this place as a result of having good motives to “esteem others greater than ourselves”. While this is Scripturally correct, I believe it is important here to recognize that Jesus modeled relationships built on mutual voluntary concern for others.  

In the case where He approached the lame man by the pool of Bethesda, He didn’t run over this person’s option to remain in the state he was in.  Jesus asked him if he desired to be healed. In speaking with the rich young ruler, Jesus gave him the “choice” to own responsibility for how he would live.  In both situations, Jesus respected each one’s right to govern their lives by their personal limits.  One man chose well, the other one did not.  The Bible indicates that both men were aware of the responsibilities around their choices.

When you decline to get involved in a particular event or activity, a boundary buster may attempt several strategies to get you to change your ‘no’ to ‘yes’.  You may feel bulldozed into doing what you had originally decided against, and later feel angry and resentful.  Eventually, this anger can begin to create tension in the relationship. It erodes self-esteem by introducing fear that acceptance is based on our compliance.  

I am a previous owner of a barbershop, where I worked for nearly two years before acquiring it from the original owner. One of the women who worked there since the beginning felt privileged around certain financial rewards because she was somewhat of a “star player” on the team.  At the beginning of my ownership, accompanied by my CPA, I laid out the plan for compensation, which was based on commission in a manner that made the playing field level.  

This particular lady, suspecting that she wasn’t getting preferential treatment, began discussing finances with others who worked there.  Upon finding out that everyone was paid at the same rate, she was livid, to the point of reminding me what the previous owner had promised.  After careful consideration, I called a meeting with her and politely laid down the guidelines, acutely aware that if she chose to walk I could very well expect a third of the clientele to follow her.  Still I stuck to my guns.  And, she walked.  She had notified her customers and many followed.  Those who didn’t called and I provided her contact information.  In less than a year, I got word that she had retired, sold her house and moved out of state.  I found this out as a result of about 95% of her clientele resumed coming to the barbershop, and, many, chose to see me personally.  Many commented that they appreciated that I had given them her contact info and came back to the shop because they liked the atmosphere and felt comfortable.

This particular incident was a turning point in my life.  My biggest learning curve around this was that when I choose to set boundaries, having good motives, I can trust that God will always work it out for good.  To this day even though I no longer cut hair, I am in touch with many former customers.  I didn’t rely on the world’s means of provision for my shop.  I learned to believe in a God who has promised never to leave me or forsake me and to always provide for me!

Boundaries are not a means of getting revenge.  They are a means of applying self-control in our lives by giving every relationship we have the opportunity to grow and flourish.  While they may seem harsh or inconsiderate, they are a visible means of communication to others.  

Boundaries, like fences, need to have gates. The gate serves to push the bad out and to receive the good in.  A fence with no gate is nothing more than a wall.

In such situations, a relationship can be put back on track by calmly and assertively establishing limits around what we will or will not tolerate in our lives. This may be met with disbelief or disdain by some, but over time consistent limits will either draw the relationship back into healthy alignment or create distance.  In either case, the level of respect that you are regarded with will typically increase.  

The difficulty here will be in “feeling” that we will lose the relationship.  A different perspective may be that we are setting it up to potentially improve the relationship over time.  It really is loving-kindness toward ourself and the other person when we work to create a safe relationship of mutual regard for one another’s feelings and desires.

A sidebar to the barbershop story is that within several months from the time the former coworker left my shop to work at a different location a few miles away, she actually sent me a card to say “thank you” for directing her clients to her new location.  Thus, respect comes into play around setting appropriate limits in a kind and considerate manner and with a level of consistency that allows the other person to regard you with an assurance that you do, in fact, keep your word.  By establishing these limits early on, you can relax and enjoy more peaceful and loving relationships.  

 
Becoming drawn to those who respect our boundaries, gives us the support we need to develop healthy limits with those with whom we are in a relationship that has some challenges..  We can begin to develop the courage of evaluating our relationships and determining where or when boundaries may need to be placed.  

It is absolutely essential to have support as you begin the process of establishing safe limits in a difficult relationship or situation in life. We also need to be respectful of others’ boundaries. Thus, setting an example of the way we desire to be treated.


Boundaries provide the structure for balance and success in our lives and work. When we learn to value what we are responsible for: such as our feelings, talents, thoughts, attitudes, behavior and personal wellbeing, we can take necessary steps to protect them.  

In protecting our treasures, i.e. guarding our hearts, we are able to allow the good to get in and the bad to stay out. 

Guilty feelings are normal when we begin to establish boundaries.  

Setting limits in our lives may activate a critical internal judge.  When we cease listening to the overactive conscience and respond according to values of love, kindness, responsibility and forgiveness, the feelings of guilt will diminish.  

It is okay for us to say no to things that God would not want for us either.  The difficulty comes when we fear the reactions of others and / or the loss of relationship.  This is why a support system made up of people who will respect our ‘no’ is so important. 

Unless we are free to say “no” we are not truly free to say “yes” out of a heart of love and service.  Anything short of saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when we choose is out of obligation and not out of freedom.

If you recognize your need to establish safe and loving boundaries and are uncertain as to where you should begin, consider getting some coaching.  Coaching will provide you the opportunity to express your concerns, receive an objective opinion around your motives, and the opportunity to do a little “role” play to be able to look at the view from both sides of the “fence”.

In addition to learning how to establish limits, coaching provides you with an opportunity to receive support to have those difficult conversations and encouragement as you wait and allow God to do the work in the heart of the other person.

For more information regarding how coaching can help you to establish healthy boundaries, please check out my website at JoyFilledRelationships.com.

Unfortunately, depending on the safety of the situation, boundaries may best be put in motion within the safety of a coach, pastor, counselor or mutual friend of those in the relationship.  If your particular situation could become dangerous, seek the help of those who can offer you the safety that you need, prior to laying the foundation for the needed limits.


Healthy, mature boundaries provide the freedom to establish goals based on personal values. Setting these goals helps us determine our God-given purpose and the balance to better navigate life. 

We make choices based on what we determine to be important and not out of fear of how others may react.   When we are free to say no, we are then free to say yes.  

We build better relationships by setting safe limits and truly being able to live at peace with others.

Until next time....

-Sheri xo

Toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviors and fear-based mindsets will consistently derail our efforts, drain our energy and hinder our growth and ability to create a life we won’t need to try to escape from. Are you tired of falling into the same negative patterns in your relationships? Do you find yourself feeling stuck, frustrated, and emotionally drained by repetitive cycles of conflict and disappointment? Don't let negative patterns dictate the course of your relationships any longer. It's time to break free….

Since successfully navigating the challenges of divorce, abandonment and a host of other relationship challenges in both childhood and in marriage, I have spent nearly 20 years coaching numerous women, both personally and professionally, and equipping them with the tools and strategies necessary to experience a transformational process that allows them to create joy-filled relationships and emotional stability!

If you are Ready to Transform Negative Patterns into Healthy Boundaries, then we need to chat…..!

"A joy-filled relationship is like a warm cup of coffee on a chilly morning—it wraps around you, warms your heart, and infuses your entire being with a sense of lasting joy."

Healthy boundaries are essential in all of our relationships, since they create a framework for respect, trust, emotional well-being. They guide us in how to set limits on what is acceptable and what is not!. Boundaries define where one person ends and another person begins, ensuring that both individuals have the safety to share their needs, desires, and personal values. They empower us to prioritize our personal well-being rather than compromise our values. 

Ultimately, by setting and respecting healthy boundaries, relationships can thrive and grow through mutual respect, understanding, and fulfillment.

Remember, your personal well-being is too important to be compromised by negative patterns. Boundaries allow you to take control of your life, break free from the chains that hold you back, and live a life filled with emotional wholeness and lasting joy!

Some underlying causes of negative patterns may be due to unmet childhood needs, fear of loss or rejection, feelings of neglect or of not being accepted. Breaking free from negative relational patterns begins with reflecting back on our lives and identifying recurring behaviors that have led to undesirable outcomes. 

Once negative patterns emerge in relationships they cause unique challenges and inhibit open and honest communication and intimacy. This may lead to resentment if one or both parties begins to feel unheard or disconnected.

Controlling behaviors can erode trust and lead to a loss of self-esteem, especially in important relationships. Consistent neglect or avoidance of emotional connection can result in hurt, resentment, and a breakdown of the relationship. Breaking free from negative relationship patterns requires a commitment to personal growth and support. 

Relationship coaching offers invaluable guidance in navigating these challenges and acquiring necessary tools to make lasting change. A faith community with other Christian women in a group coaching environment provides a powerful way to connect and receive support, encouragement and accountability, and may maximize our efforts.

Acknowledging the detrimental impact of negative patterns can motivate us to make changes. Learning to question the narratives we've been telling ourselves and the choices we’ve made helps us to come to understand that God has a better plan for us than continually repeating relational patterns that create chaos. When we have the support we need to gain clarity on our negative patterns and develop the courage to dismantle them, we will find that the changes we long for are not only needed but they are entirely possible!

Boundaries act as emotional fences that define where we end and where others begin. Creating and maintaining healthy relationships is a key aspect of leading a fulfilling life. At the heart of joy-filled relationships is a solid understanding of how boundaries serve as essential guides for taking responsibility for our own emotions and actions, while simultaneously encouraging others to do the same. By effectively communicating our limits, desires, and needs, we can build relationships that are rooted in trust, honesty, and reciprocity, where conflicts are minimized, and communication becomes more authentic and meaningful. 

Implementing boundaries helps us conserve our emotional energy by preventing us from falling into unhealthy habits such as people-pleasing, codependency, perfectionism or faking fine. They guide us in recognizing when to say "yes" to activities, opportunities, and relationships that align with our values and aspirations. Equally important, boundaries empower us to say a respectful "no" when something doesn't resonate with us, guarding against resentment and burnout.

While boundaries are crucial for cultivating healthy relationships, it is important to note that they require ongoing communication, flexibility, and empathy. They should be flexible yet firm, consistently adjusted as relationships evolve and grow. By openly discussing boundaries with our loved ones, we can create an environment where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued.

Since boundaries are the secret to maintaining balance, preserving relationships, and achieving personal growth, let's explore even more of the advantages:

1. Empowerment and Self-Respect: Establishing healthy boundaries empowers us to prioritize our needs and values, and not feel obliged to say yes to everything, allowing us to make choices that align with our authentic self.

2. Reduced Stress and Burnout: Without clear boundaries, it becomes challenging to manage our time and energy effectively. By setting limits on our commitments and responsibilities, we create space to rejuvenate, reduce stress, avoid burnout, and enhance our overall well-being.

3. Improved Relationships: Since boundaries are the framework for healthy relationships, they are a blueprint for mutual respect, trust, and communicating our limits, needs, and expectations, helping ensure that our relationships are a source of joy and not chaos.

4. Enhanced Productivity and Focus: When our boundaries are intact, we can devote the necessary energy to our tasks without distractions or interruptions. We are able to create a structured environment that allows us to focus on priorities and becoming more effective and efficient in our endeavors.

5. Improved Emotional Maturity: By understanding and communicating our emotions and needs, we are able to protect our mental and emotional well-being and manage challenging situations with more grace and resilience.

6. Personal Growth and Development: Boundaries serve as a catalyst for personal growth and development. Saying no to what does not align with our goals and values creates space for personal and professional growth. By mastering the art of establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, we are able to eliminate old patterns, beliefs, and limitations and become more intentional on our journey to a more fulfilling, authentic, and empowered life.

Toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviors and fear-based mindsets will consistently derail our efforts, drain our energy and hinder our growth and ability to create a life we won’t need to try to escape from.

Are you tired of falling into the same negative patterns in your relationships? Do you find yourself feeling stuck, frustrated, and emotionally drained by repetitive cycles of conflict and disappointment? Don't let negative patterns dictate the course of your relationships any longer. It's time to break free….

Since successfully navigating the challenges of divorce, abandonment and a host of other relationship challenges in both my childhood and in marriage, I have spent over 20 years working with numerous women, mostly Christian, and helping to equip them with the necessary tools and strategies to learn to create God-honoring relationships and emotional wellness that brings lasting joy! 

At the encouragement and financial provision from my mother, I attended Christian Leadership Coach training in 2007-2008. After completing the training and being mentored by other coaches, I received my Master Christian Life Coaching Certification in 2012. This journey has been one of joy and tears as I've certainly learned that I can't coach or lead where I won't go. God has taken me through the journey of reflecting on my life and identifying negative relational patterns that have held me in bondage and He has taught me a better way to do life and relationships. I am super passionate about coaching other Christian women through their transformational journeys.

Relationship Coaching in a supportive group environment of other Christian women on similar journeys will empower you to gain the confidence you need to challenge your limiting beliefs and unhealthy habits so you can think and live differently. The hope, insight and wisdom available to you will provide an excellent opportunity to be equipped for developing emotional wholeness and cultivating safe relationships that enhance your life. The key factor for creating the joy-filled relationships you desire is your commitment to personal growth.

Your journey towards a more balanced and enriching life, a deeper, more intimate walk with Christ and learning to create Joy-Filled ❤️ Relationships℠ is not only possible, it is closer than you might think!

Stay tuned for more information regarding a Monthly Facebook Live Joy-Filled ❤️ Relationships Group Coaching Event that will kick off (ETA September 2023). I am super excited to offer this free monthly event to all Christian Women in the Facebook Group, "Joy-Filled Relationships aka Boundaries". 

Additionally, this event will coincide with the Launch of my Coaching Business. You can stay up-to-date by checking my website (currently being built) JoyFilledRelationships.com. 

Other things in the works, are my online coaching program, including live weekly coaching, online courses,  and my Joy-Filled ❤️ Relationships Podcast. There is lots happening in my world and I would greatly appreciate your prayers for God's continued guidance as well as for the hearts and minds of women who are and have been praying for answers and guidance in these types of relationship challenges. 

Please feel free to reach out to me by clicking on the ‘Contact Me’ tab on my site with any questions you may have. I will be offering a *30-minute consult to any Christian women who are interested in learning more, beginning August 1, 2023.